Judge — July 12, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Strength of Character—"He's a milliner “Umph! “Don’t ju fellow in that line of business is necessa I recently overheard Pp to the conclusion that a rily a mollycoddle him addressing some remarks to a punc tured tire that would have done credit to 1 Kentucky colonel in the heat of political argument.” Birmingham Herald. A Fording Pleasure—Ike Billings uught fora while Tuesday that his car had been stolen. He drove down to the river near Tim Budd's place and left his car standing by the road while he went over in a field to examine some wheat When he returned the auto was gone. He went up to Budd’s house and tele phoned the sheriff and after a@ little re turned to the spot by the road and found his car about where he had left it. There was a card on the front seat which said. Saw your sign on the post over there id being in a hurry to reach town drove Am sending it back by Bill Tomp- kins, who is going over to Tipton’s mill He will leave it where I found it. Thanks.” Ike was somewhat mystified until look ing around a bit he spied a sign on a near- by post at the edge of the water which “Budd's Ford for free use of the “Wichita Eagle it in, read, public.” The Stinging Retort—“ Henry, Imust have a motor car that is unlike anybody else's.” “TI don’t sce how we are going to ar. range that, my dear. Most of the avail able models seem to be in u: However we might persuade a manufacturer to build a car to order shaped like a bee: hive, and you could buzz around in that.” -Birmingham Age-Herald, One of the best will Scientific Fanci inventions we have hi soon be completed by a prominent elec trician. It is a device which, placed upon the front end of a street car, will put a stop to motorists speeding past them when passengers are getting off. When the street car comes to a stop, cessation of the rotary motion of the axle causes a connection in the motor to become op- erative, which, in turn, sets up a circular current to the right of the motor. This current extends over the street to the right of the front end of the street car to ard of lately Madame alle-la sur le dos!” * And the Missus nt a distance of about twenty feet and ata height to strike at the hat line of drivers in automobiles. So. as long as t is standing still. any autoist. wh will have his hat knocked off and his hair singed by the invisible rotating current The current will be too high to bother pedestrians. Thus ences and shocks. ticipated by the inventor that all mo rists will stop when th street. car from which passengers are alighting. That is, if the thing works Wichita Fo passes after a few experi it is confidently an y approach a “Ouclle b * Domm “TL dare bre Worth Knowing experiences have war vision?” Undoubtedly tlis charged soldier For one thing. 1 have discovered that it is possible for a man to work sixteen hours a day and keep his health.”--Birmingham Age-Herald answered the Young Bill unoll t to his Too Much for Bill wanted to slip out of barracks cially—-to see his girl, and he we friend the sentry and stated the case Well,” the Vl be off duty when you come back, so you ought rht. It’s said sentry to have the password for te Idiosynerasy *.” Idio what?” “Idiosynerasy.”” I'll stay in barracks.” Minneapolis News sid you oing Too Far—“One should try to bear with the faults of his neighbors.” re marked the altruist To be sure,” replied Mr “But when one of my neighbors persists in playing German grand opera records on his phonograph when he knows all the time I a German oflicer’s helmet on display in my living-room I want to take an ax over to that fellow’s house and Birmingham Age Dubwaite have assert. myself.” ald Gift qu'elle ne soit pas “What a lovely child!” “Yes, pity it isn’t likely to live! comicbooks.com