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Judge, 1919-07-05 · page 22 of 36

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Judge — July 5, 1919 — page 22: Judge, 1919-07-05

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| THE SEX a Fifty-Fifty—A wor sn't_ make way driving a nail, but did 1 man try to wrap up a Ikron Times. much hea a ever see undry?: Acting—"Why are you looking so sad, old char “My wife leaves for the shore tomor. row. If I look happy she may postpone it.""— Boston Globe Round and Round—Mrs. Styles Oh, dear What's wrong now? thinking how fast time Why your t tomorrow you'll enty-eighth birth: Statesman be observing day again!" — Yonkers Countermanded Courtesy The Miracle—“She's a wonder, that quiet little woman over there.” “Why, what's she done? “L told you; {merican she’s quiet.”— Baltimore Inconsistent—Sol Sodbuster—Wim ern is certn’y inconsistent Abe Orpington—Whatsa matter? “ My darter Sally was right in the fight fer liberty an’ freedom from beginnin’ t° end. “Yes, yes “And then, the first thing she does when peace is declared is to fasten herself up tightern’ beeswax in a hobble skirt.” — Youngstown Telegram. Piracy on the High Air The Fussy Fold Did ve Get Yes; but her ¢ while to + ballots folded Like a paper napkin Free Pre For Future Generations—"“\ ci girl writes to ask if moths will dest overalls. That's a str Oh, she’s prob who wants to preserve her wa Birw family heirloom Herald Demobilization t comme le vitre pour To the Quick—* Doctor, Ive just received your bill for the operation vou performed on me. Would you cut any thing off for cash?” *Y¥es: anyth or a leg, or what else you may wish re Detroit Free Press my dear sir moved.” That Makes it Proper—Dr. Maric Kitson announces that she has again re sumed her practice of osteopathy, and make appointments by phoning No. 437. Gentlemen desiring baths are requested to make appoint ments for evenings, at which hours Mr Kitson will be in the office.”"—Osage (La wtients can Cheered on His Way Diagnosis — Doctor What you need most is a change of diet Dyspeptic—Come again, Doc! Why, that’s what made me what I am today Doctor—What do you mean? Dyspeptic—Five different cooks in as many months.—Buflulo Express Erroneous Negative Golleagues— A quack, serv- ing as physician on a boat, struck up a conversation with the engineer, who knew the former's unfitness for his position The engineer kept on calling the quack “colleague.” “Why do you call me ‘colleague’?” asked the quack one day in the preser of the crew “Well,” said the engineer cause neither of usis a physician.” —Jour- nal of the American Medical Association “simply be comicbooks.com