Judge — July 5, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Boob Visitor—What’s that fellow doin’ in the corner? Artist—Oh, he’s there just to help the composition. B. V.—Awfally decent of him, isn’t it? —Punch (London). CURIOSITY He passed from this little old sphere And these are the questions that ring: His fellows said “What did he leave?” The angels said “What did he bring?” —New York Sun. THE CRIME OF CASTE A buzzard and a common crow Once roosted in a tree; They spoke in softened whispers though T heard and here The words that ec. “The crime of caste,” the buzzard quoth, “Corrupts the very air!” * You know,” he added, with an oath, “We're ostracised, and we are both Unwelcome everywhere!” The two contrived a sickly grin And scratched their puzzled domes; “And think—" the crow impressed his kin, “The stork is always welcomed in The most exclusive homes!” —Buffalo News. EPH'M JONES Dah goes that lazy Eph'm Jones, Good-foh-nothin’ bag 0’ bones. Got his fish’ pole in his han’, Got his bait in dat old can— Huh! Des look a’ Eph'm’s hat? Evah see de beat o’ dat? It’s de on’y one he owns— Lazy, loafin, Eph’m Jones! Why’n’t he walk lak folks lak me? , Why’n’t he let dem fishes be? What he s’pose he comin’ to? Ain’t he nuffin’ else to do? Look at him ‘des slouchin’ "long, Hummin’ some old soht o’ song. Lawd! Ise got ter dig en scratch In dis hyuh ole ’tater patch! Huh! I reckon he's er gwine Some’re wid dat pole an’ line— "Way erpast de bruk-down mill, Whuh de crick goes 'roun’ de hill. Den he'll set down in de shade D. Lazy, es, Good-for-nuffin’ Eph’m Jones. Lawd! It's hot byuh in de sun! Wish dis ‘tater patch ‘us done. Reckon Eph’m he'll des lay In de shade all dis day, Th'owin’ in en pullin’ out— Red-eye bass, en mebbe trout! Den he'll come er-slouchin’ home, Grinnin’ {ak er currycomb! Lawd! Dat sun is hot. My lan’! Dis is mo’ den I kin stan’, Dah goes Eph’m throo de wood— Um'm! I bet dat shade feel good! 'Tain’t no use. Nobody owns Me dan dey do Eph’m Jones! 'Tater patch, I'll let yo’ be— Eph'm, Eph’m! Wait foh me! — Chicago Post. 20 BABIES Takes the Cash Also—‘ Mrs. Bing’s new baby is just in the fashion.” “How do you mean?” “Tt is such a red cross affair.” —Bal- timore American. Fatuous Brotherhood—Robert had a new brother about three weeks old. “Who does your little brother look like?” asked one of the neighbors. “T don’t know that he looks much like anybody,” replied Robert. “He looks a little like ex-President Taft in the back of his neck.”—Detroit Free Press. The Age of Reason—“ Mayme’s baby to hear her talk, must be the smartest child on the block.” “Yes; I was fully prepared to hear her say when the child swallowed a tack it was because he heard the doctor say he needed more iron in his system.”—Yon- hers Statesman. : f tlt « maar een beetje croo- * jeblicft. ist—En dat in deze tijden! Photographer—Look pleasant, please! Capitalist—Impossible in _these days. —Notenkraker Clmsterdam). ies ” comicbooks.com