Judge, 1919-06-14 · page 8 of 36
Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Lines to a Young Lady's Considerably Younger Sister"** (top): A humorous poem about an older man's exasperation with a young girl's endless questions. He claims he can answer anything—until she asks where squirrels go when it rains, which becomes his comic breaking point. The satire mocks the relentless curiosity of children and the pretended omniscience of adults. **"Sine Qua Non"** (middle): Satirizes business culture and the proliferation of professional "agents" (insurance agents, book agents, subscription solicitors). A man proposes deliberately siccing these nuisances on each other in a "Kilkenny cat" arrangement—referencing the Irish proverb about two cats fighting until only tails remain. It's social commentary on the invasiveness of commercial solicitation. **"Ain't It The Truth?"** (bottom): A brief joke about pronunciation—a character admits he mispronounces foreign names intentionally because doing so correctly would confuse his audience. All pieces use light humor to comment on social absurdities of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Lines to a Young Lady’s Considerably Younger Sister By Moris Ryskixo EW are the things that I do not know Few as the things that I cannot bluff Ask—as you do—** How white is snow?” 1 don’t consider that problem tough. Ask “In what part of the neck is the scruff?”"— That will not force me to rack my brains But when you ask this, I cry “Where do the squirrels all go Znough!”” n it rains? “How many years since lon “Why are there only two f’s in stuff?” “Why aren’t you sister’s only beau?” (1 don’t consider that problem tough: Sister's a popular bit of fluff.) All of your questions this poet explains. Only one query gets me i huff: “Where do the squirrels all go when it rains?” Ask me “How big is a horse’s big toe?” . “Why do they call such a queer color ‘bufi’?” | ; “Please tell me where did the Wurzburger flow?” . (I don’t consider that problem tough.) | ; “Isn't it funny my shirt has no cuff?” 4, “When you cat . does your tummy get ps ' Shoot—I shall answer. “This only I muff: “Where do the squirrels all go when it rains?” Envoi Ask me, “How much is a pinch of snuff?” € years has been working alone in the I don’t cons‘der that problem tough mow:rehllable: Bottle; returns with. the But one Eternal Conundrum remains: Where do the squirrels all go when it rains? Sine Qua Non Ain't It The Truth? } By Bounanvizr Brows Willis—Why don’t you pronounce these foreign names “UV HATS this new movement you're fathering, Thomp- correctly. Don’t you know how? son?” Gillis—Sure, but if I did nobody would understand what 1) “The National Society for the Abatement of Agents. It’s I was talking about making a great hit.” “Just what’s the scheme?” “Well, entre nous, we're compiling a secret list of all the agents in the country, and the idea is to sic ‘em on one another. For instance, book agents will be supplied with the names and ad dresses of insurance men as likely ‘prospects.” then the list of book men will go to the subscrip- tion solicitors, and so on till they’ve all talked one another to death or bankruptcy.” “LT get you; the Kilkenny cat ide scale. , It’s a bully plan and you ca me for all the support you need.” “Right-o! I’m sorry I haven't any member ship blanks about me. But don’t worry, old man —you won't be missed. Our representatives are making a canvass of every office in town.” on a large n-count on “Out Damned Spot “Then your husband wasn’t pleased with his visit to the home of Shakespeare?” Drews by Bankenane Rorne “No. We had a puncture just as we reached Ars Gesly—You aboald have’ married ‘some auiped, credulous girl the place.” Mr. Gayly—Well, dear, I did the best I could. 8 comicbooks.com