Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 a ee raised by our parents! Ho: rors of horrors!’ Even in my own time I have seen mothers th children in their—in their—oh, oh, oh, oh, oh—in their laps. I shudder! Why, I, personally, have a tintype photo of my mother and my self at the age of four, sitting at hers We have one satisfaction The day our baby was born I copied in my note-book the number on her identification d (Series M, Serial No. 4.357.928). I have written it on the wall-paper in several rooms in our house and placed it on the fly-leaves of several books, and I have a copy on a slip of paper in the safe at the office. I swear that, sooner or later, in spite of all the hospitals and special doctors and special scientific nurses in the world, I am going to find a girl bearing M, Serial No. 4,557, to my heart, and, so help me Beavers hold her in that number (Series h my lap. Drawn ty © “Dad, ain't Barcursen there no way we could fi g28) and take Why Joses Gave Up HIS is what beni to Jones the day he re to turn over a new leaf, be a good American and Wane keep the Eighteenth amendment In the smoker of the 8:15 he met Wil- liams, a neighbor ‘How's the gar- asked J} ‘ans up yet Williams sw the car with a htened glance -h,” he said. hev're not beans, fool. = Dwarfed Something “Half an acre is good for about 25 barrel You take I . wash“ 1 run out, nes. pound 1 one ho let strain through layers of the cheesecloth, bot and put away fc days, and then—u around Dra m Co next October oF: for yourself.” weakfish ‘ou are Ived ut of court “Ginger ale. voce) they do.sa At the office Jones found Brown, the outside salesman, justin from the Middle West. “Ah, Brown,” he said. “What luck?” “Great, said Brown “Why, do you know. the folks out there have worked out a way to make a regular man’s drink out of old lemon eels? Yes, sir, lemon peels. hink of it! Let's see, 12 pounds dried lemon peel, 29 pounds sugar, 15 po— Whoa, wait a minute. I’ve got the dope right here in my_grip if you want it. No? Well, if you ever do, just let_me know and I'll have the whole thing copied off for you Zowie, but it’s good!” At the Skyscraper Lunch- con Club, Jones ordered his usual light meal and topped it off with ginger ale. said the waiter as he snapped off the cork. It pops just like the real thing and (sotto sir, that if you drop a cube of Anti- Thirst into a bottle of this here and seal it up tight, sir, in a couple of days you'll have the finest: sparklin drink a man could puthis lips to. Ye: You get it at any In the dentist chair that afternoc and suffering, essayed an inquiry as t merits of gold and platinum for fillin they call it Anti-Thirst rug store ones, gag the re aid the D.D.S “ Well, most of my patients tell me that sassafras makes nour Navy Now, can you tell me why the better all-round drink, thoughsomedo say the orris root bre has the stro r kick in it. Alla matter of taste, tess. Now] happen tohave a little book with all the directionsifyou Jones arrived home that eve d his wife “Oh, John. for- ven »bbed There was a strany: cat in th the h set ever tears. she e cellar in the place and et “There, there, never mind,” com- forted Jones. “But, John dear, those jars contained twenty-five quarts of home-made prune brandy that I putup just as a surprise for you-uh-ul -uh.” comicbooks.com