Judge — May 31, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Mas ) | WITH the COLLEGE WITS | | FUN from the SOLDIERS | | Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Good Things in Service Papers ' | ! ance is bliss Sure! I'se dun gonna throw mah helmet in her | ‘ Nlvashis A | front r; ef s in Ah coes in, but if itc ut | COFOSRG: 4 O Tempora Peace Terms ’ cing two clocks on the dresser) Judge—Your sentence will be one year and | What's the idea—one of them isn’t going? ten d | '21—Yes, but it’s such a good check on the What's the ten days for? i Judge—War tax.—Cha parral ‘| What Could be Fairer NE “There goes Anna’s friend, Trotzky Je.” } “Why that sweet sobriquet?” “Well, you see, he’s the man Anna kissed.” —Columbia Jester. Fountain of Youth Alice—Don't you think kissing is horribly unhealthful? Ned—Er-r yes, and sometimes horribly in- vigorating, don’t you know!—Widow. Estimated “Was she shy when you asked her her age?” “Yes, L imagine about ten years.” —Burr. The Way We Think We Look. Experience Irdent Swain—Sir, W'd like to speak to you about your daughter Stern Parent—Why Widow what's she been doing now? With All Her Faults, | Love Her Still Speaker—Thank God, the country is going dry. It will bring sunshine into many a home! Skeptic—Yes, and moonshine, too, brother! Michigan Gargoyle Needed Stump Orator—1 want reform; L want gov emment reform; I want labor reform; I want Chloroform.— Yale Record Poetic Thought Wasted He failed in Latin, he flunked in Chem; They heard him softly hiss. I'd like find the fellow who said other one when it comes to eight o’clock.— State Froth. mn So Said Noah Girls with pretty ankles get the least mud on their skirts.—Froth. Jungle Jumbles Professor—Can you tell me something about hieroglyphics? Stupid Stude—No, sit; I've only studied the lower animals.—Widow. Explained “How do you do it, son? ery day.” “The prof is a retired minister and doesn't mind it.”"—Penn State Froth You sleep in that class The Way We Look to Others. —The W Chateaux A Chateau is a large house with a driveway in front, a garden in back and no bath. Each town has the most beautiful Chateau in France many of these are also the largest; but only a comparatively few are the oldest Another feature of this style of architecture is its inability to keep out the weather. Cha teaux have many windows, but few window panes; they have many doorways, but no doors. Some have roofs, yet this latter is not said by way of criticism because the roofs do not en tirely bar the light of the lovely skies—espe cially when it is r For these reasons Chateaux make excellent billets, better even than a shell hole.—The Gas Attack TRAY OPLLY moment WMEN THE GR WOM YOU FOU) SOU COULDNT CCT VER, MEETS YoU ON THE STRECY ANOTHE You've Been There.—Great Lakes Bulletin. Slow! Charley Smith, of the transportation detail, was promenading the Avenue de Baraduc one evening and decided he could well dispose of a fromage sandwich before retiring for the night. He entered the café and after ten minutes within the emporium discovered he had two minutes to get to the barracks before “check” was made. He became quite irate and finally burst into a volume of speech concluding with “no wonder you eat snails, it’s about all you could ever catch,” and thereupon left his order in the wake of his trail—Flights and Landings, ALE. F., France. Low Visibility Lady Visitor-—Were you wounded, my man? atient—) a’am. It was my brother, but he had a date this afternoon, so I’m substi- tuting.—Over Here. ys Gus “T'd hate to be a zebra. Gus the Gob Think of all the stripes he has to clean Life. Navy comicbooks.com | we