Judge — May 31, 1919 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Plaint of the Payee Pe By Prt, Dease D. Ricuan USA Mi | HEARD the call of the boys in France, M And pledged ten bucks to the “Y", if To help the lads that are over there, So fewer of them need die. I heard the call of the boys in France, Who are fighting across the pond, So I surrounded a few “kopeks” And purchased a Liberty Bond I heard the call of the boys in France, Where the great red rivers flow, fl So I slipped 'em a ten or so f' I heard the call of the boys in France, fl “Thrift stamps will win this war.” 1 owned a few, but what could I do, i But purchase a dozen more? i f] I've heard and heeded the numerous calls, i And am glad that I have,—but say yet when L happen to get a Payless Day I'm “gladder To the End i A Touching Case Ry Anonymous, Consider the touching case of the Navy cer “dolled up” in regulation blue, with the The following are actual ex- (i gold insignia. cerpts from queries directed to one of them “Boy, please check these hats and coats for us.” “Can you tell me when the nest train leaves for Philadelphia?” “Usher, bring me a program.” “Give me a transfer, and let me off at Ninety-sixth Street.” ’ “Where does the band play, mister?” “Ooh, Mamma, see the Fire man.’ | “Say, feller, when are yuh gonna 4 feed them lions?” ‘| The climax was reached when a sweet old lady, after surveying my whites,” came to theconclusion that I must be a cook. Verily, Sherman and Barnum were both right. Overlooking Him By Pex. Hexar Prone, 601 Engineers, CoD, Ac Ee B., Pranee, Top Sergeant (to the company) yood lawyers are seldom heavy drinkers. There isn’t a man who could serve two bars to satisfaction “Hey!” yelled the captain's or- derly, “what about me?” For the good Red Cross, you must come across,” This Week's Best Service Joke The Unpardonable Sin By Puvare Bacer Cour A. BP. France. NV OFFICER f his men the road and in Well, suh “Kicked b; George?” th doan’ k aluse him.” No Good Men Available By Senor. L. B. W., 0.8. M20. I was taking some information to an officer about seven kilos back from the front, and on my return was picked up by a friend driving a staif car. A dozen darkies were leaning on their shovels when a shell dropped in a nearby wood. A general scattering followed. Leaning forward I saw some gilt numerals on the hat of a prone figure. “Hey, George, is this the 342nd?”" Yas, sah,” came the mufiled answer. “['m after some good men. Going to take them to the front.” “Dar’s no good men here, sah, As fur me, I’se a road man pure an’ simple. Ise done worked on too many county roads in de States to change ma profession dis late in life. I’se desirous road material, sah.” Drawn ty Cour, Y. A, Kenwennen, Co, A, 316 Fld, Sin, Ba. USS. Army, Comp Milla 26 What Did Omar Mean—Wine? Comp, Wiest PL Sumean, Mol. Dept. USA I NOTICE that with the impending era « Prohibition back home, they’re quoting agai old Omar’s famous crack about licker et al. Yo remember—the one where he sums up the jos of existence as composed of a canteen of wine loaf of bread, a book of verses and a mademoi- sclle, at a picnic under a spreading chestnut tree Tam moved to wonder: What did he mean wine? I can understand a fellow getting some enjoyment out of parleying with a mademoisell under a nice shady tree, with a volume of Stella Keeler Silcox’s “Pomes of Passion” to sit on and a long slender loaf of war bread to munch at—if he felt that way about it—but, say, Omar surely didn’t mean this here Vin Blanc and Vin Rouge when he mentioned wine. I want to put myself on record as saying that if that’s the beverage he had in mind, I’m of him forever as a picker of pleasant ways to spend a Sunday afternoon, French wine is not a drink it’s a poison. It is unpleasant to the taste anc contains no inspiration. A lot of licker is hard to take but has a rebound like a French 75. But Vin Ordinaire, as they call it for short, is an in- sult to the taste without being a spur to the am- bition. Vin Blanc, the pale varicty, isn’t eve good to look at and it resembles vinegar in taste appearance and smell. Vin Rouge has a beauti ful vin rouge color that is very deceptive. 1 tastes, however, even worse than its. sister Blanche. 1 can remember picturing how nice it would be in France after the day's quota of Germans had bec killed, to lay away the gun and the gas-mask and trot out in the countr to some flower-bedecked and vine covered café, there to sip sweet wine as served up by a slender young mademoiselle who would knock your eye out for looks. But barmaids I've found, are fat old grandmothers and wine is rotten drinking. Omar’s recipe depends, I. suppose for its success, on the kind of made moiselle you get, and what flavor of bread and wine. 1d just as lief have pie in place of bread and an ice cream sundae instead of the drinks Homesick By Per, Bucee Coun, A. B. B., France The lieutenant was lonesome for a familiar face. Seeing a chap who looked like the boy who used to de- liver groceries at his home, he stoppe him and asked: “Do you know wh: Lam?" “No, sir; don’t you?” comicbooks.com