Judge, 1919-05-17 · page 9 of 32
Judge — May 17, 1919 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: 1. **"Bravery"** (top): A humorous essay mocking male bravado. The narrator describes surviving drowning, dangerous heights, and forest dangers—situations where people called him afraid. Yet when asked about a woman's new gown, he tells her the truth (implying it's unflattering), which he considers his *true* act of bravery. The joke satirizes men's fear of offending women's vanity as greater than physical danger. 2. **"Those Little Household Hints"** (center): A parody of the domestic advice columns popular in magazines of the era. The "hints" are presented earnestly but include absurd or contradictory suggestions (gasoline in car tanks, dental floss warnings for infants), mocking the credulous acceptance of such dubious domestic wisdom. 3. **"The Operagraph"** and **"Fresh Tints in Springtime"**: Brief humorous pieces—one joking about phonographs replacing opera-going, another about spring painting trends. The page satirizes contemporary domestic culture, gender relations, and the earnest advice-column format itself.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Bravery NCE when I was standing on a wharf, I saw a man fall overboard and sink. I made no move to save him, and he was drowned. They said I was afraid. Once again, I leaned over a chasm in the Rockies; my face went white with the thought of the abyss and my unsteady footing. Again they said I was afraid. Once I awakened in the heart of a forest, alone. I heard strange sounds and my flesh grew cold and clammy. I was, perhaps, afraid again, And yet, | wonder for once, when she asked my opinion of a new gown, I told a beautiful woman the truth! dinner time. What “Let's see. There was something I had on my mind. Oh, yes—firA! Better open Those Little Household Hints As They Usually Appear in the Best Publications By Kexxetn Usverwoon OAP and water are useful for clean- S ing baby’s clothes. Water-soaked shoes may be dried by placing them on a steam radiator. ‘Two drops of olive oil on a cloth suit will often make a greasy spot. Water may be quickly heated at night in a covered aluminum pot placed on a hot stove. A baby should never be laid outdoors in the snow without plenty of warm clothing. Dental floss should never be used on any baby under four months old. A broom brushed backward and forward with great force across an oriental rug will quickly remove the dirt. A small quantity of gasoline in the auto tank will make starting easieron frosty mornings. Fresh Tints in Springtime By Ws. S. Avwixs The heavens are no longer dark And Nature decorates the park. The tulips have a dainty tint And everywhere fresh colors glint. With Nature I have no complaint, But man must sling around fresh paint. The Operagraph Jo you go to the opera?” Drawn by Carvent Sarr “What's the use? I’ve gota phonograph.” The Dog—Well, that’s queer! He used to wait in the parlor for her to get dressed