Judge — May 17, 1919 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Must and—Everything By Grorce M. Murray HEY ought to muster out the healthy and wealthy first. Every time a transport arrives, those already wearing cits have to take a long-lost, thirsty friend on a party. And trans- ports, bearing friends, arrive ever so often. Natural law: thirst varies inversely with the length of time till July first If one were on speaking terms with a genuine prohibition- ist, one would doubtless be mean enough to ask: “Now you've got it, what are you going to do with An unanswerable objection to a popular referendum is that it gives a clear indication of what the people think, and it is bad for pec to think that what they think will be thought of seriously by inanim bodies, such as state legislatures. And Railed at the Sea “Did you come over in the Caronia?” “T leaned over inher.” Drawn by Euussos Hooven France—So, you are starving? What would happen if you really had something to eat? Poor Old Brooks! By Faevericx Moxon T was the noon hour, and I was crossing our little town I’; yark on my way tolunch. Just ahead of me my neighbor, Brooks, was walking. He usually goes at a good, smart gait, but today he was sauntering along with his head bent What's the matter?” I mentally queried. “Is he sick Just then Brooks stopped at a bench and sat down. I hurri up and asked if he didn’t feel well. “Sit down a minute, he said, “and I'll tell you about it.” I sat down, and he began. “It’s like this, Fred. This is my fiftieth birthday, and I was doing some calculating. From my house to the works is a quarter of a mile. I go down and back four times a day, making a mile, excepting Saturdays, when it’s half-a-mile. There are three hundred and eighteen working days in a year, barring a week’s vacation and a few legal holidays, and maybe a little time off for sickness and funerals. We'll call it an even three hundred days a year. That makes five and a half miles every six days, or two hundred and seventy-five miles a working year. Now, I was figuring that if I keep on the same old job for another ten years, there will be two thou- sand, seven hundred and fifty miles I’ve still got to walk to and from work! And it made me so darned tired thinking of it, I just had to sit down a minute.” As we got up to go, I said to him, “Well, why in thunder don’t you get roller-skates? Anent the League of Nations Criticus—Those are terrible cigars you've been smoking lately. Cynicus—Yes: I call them the League of Nations. Criticus—Pourquoi? Cynicus—You criticize them severely, but you haven’t any good substitute to offer. | \) Radiating Information ih IN ti } {d—Do you mean to say that your wife has been all this time lh Mt Mil iy, Wh HA Hi (hi | teaching you how to drive your car and you haven't learned a (ill wih TH elt how yet? Drawa by Rooxey Twowsoxs, — N. A. Todd—Well, it isn’t my fault. Just as I begin to learn how, she Burglar—Throw up your hands! explains it all over again. Returned Veteran—Don't make me laugh.