Judge — May 10, 1919 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

y 10, 1919 Hobbies By Wait Mason OME into the garden, Maud, And see ¢ string beans; 4 My peas are now in e Ind I have some flossy greens. \ly wife remarks, ‘ Your garden’s fine, n cabbage-head to pumpkin vine. You ave the nicest bed of slaw, the finest ects | ever saw. You've surely reason your pride; I know how you have wrought and tried to have a garden that would take the bun, the chromo, and the >. But really, Walt,” says she, “I ar you'll bore our friends who journey he You're talking garden all the time, and such obsessions are a crime. No sooner does a guest arrive than you with misfit ardor strive to lead him to your garden sass, where you will brag while long hours pass.” Come into the garden, Maud, And see the treasures there; My squash is large and broad, ‘And my pumpkin passing fair How easy ‘tis to be a bore, and make the heads of neighbors sore! I visit Jinks to chat and laugh, and he turns on the shonograph, and plays the records that I hate, and keeps it going till it’s late. The poor boob thinks he entertains, but #311 my soul he chafes and strains. A phonograph will me amuse, if all the rec- ds I may choose. But when the other fellow picks cheap songs and monologues by hicks, and keeps the anguish up for hours, my sunny spirit mopes and sours. Isay, “I'll go there never more; how can aman be such a bore?” Then I go home, a wearied toff, and talk some fellow’s Ywhiskers off, about my thrifty turnip . my spuds and non-explosive peas. Come into the garden, Maud, And listen for three weeks, While I talk by the rod About my prunes and lecks. Old Johnson has some moldy books on which with bughouse pride he looks. When I drop in to chat and spiel of things which I deeply feel, such as the pros- cts of baseball, the old skate meets me in the hall, and cries, “Ods bodikins! Gadzooks! I’ve just picked up two won- Kdrous books! They’re treasured tomes, they’re green with mold, they are plumb dodgasted old!” How can a man be such a bore? I ask the question o'er ind o'er. Then I go home and find a rue the visitor gets little rest; I talk until he’s nearly dead about my premium abbage-head. ‘Twas the Dates The picture palace had up this sign : Viola Vampire—Sun to Wed. Vhat do we care about her matrimonial activities,” growled a grouchy grouch. “And look at the spelling.” “THE RETAIL PRICES ARE THE SAME EVERYWHERE || THEY COST NO MORE IN SAN FRANCISCO THAN IN NEW YORK” SAN FRANCISCO $4:20 $4:50 $5.20 $G00 $700 & $800 IF you have been paying $10.00 to $12.00 for fine shoes, a trial will convince you that for style, comfort and service W. L. Douglas $7.00 and $8.00 shoes are equally as good and will give excellent satisfaction. The actual value is determined and the retail price fixed at the factory before W. L. Douglas name and the retail priceis stamped on the bottom. Thestamped price is W. L. Douglas personal guarantee that the shoes are Se atscaswola always worth the price paid for them. The retail prices are $333.50°3 thesame everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. Stamping the price on every pair of shoes as a protection against high prices and unreasonable profits is only one example of the constant endeavor of W. L. Douglas to protect his customers. The quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more than 40 years experience in making fine shoes. the smart styles are the leaders in the fashion centers of America. They are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton, Mass., by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers under the direction and supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest deter- mination to make the best shoes for the price that money can buy. CAUTION—Before you buy be sure W. L. Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on the bottom and the inside top facing. If the stamped price has been mutilated, BEWARE OF FRAUD. For sale by 106 W.L..Douglas stores and over 9000 W. L. Douglas dealers, President W. L. Douglas o be or It Shoe Co.. 145 Spark St, rect from factory Parcel Post charg trated Catal how to ord “MADE AT KEY WEST>— An Easy Way To Make Expenses For Your Vacation Trip We have just devised a special plan whereby any progressive person can EASILY EARN his or her vacation expenses. If you desire to make $50.00—$100.00—$200.00—or more— before July Ist. write for particulars. Dept. S. A. LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York, N. Y.