Judge — May 10, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

——E = Ve = = mre a ae ose SS OS. 66. Se * Sa aa, .. a en | eee — Ss ES Se Staining the Australian Flag ives of ex-G oy A Clue—The Rye Straw store was entered by unknown persons Saturday night. The strongest evidence that it was the work of some well-dressed stranger and that nobody in this community had anything to do with it at all, is the fact that nothing but a lot of socks are miss- ing. Consequently the Deputy Constable is out looking for a well-dressed stranger socks. —Hogwallow wearing a pair of Kentuckian. Susceptible Systems—An epidemic of colds has struck town. Henry Bailey and Andy Daggett and two of Hepburn’s mules have it.—Wardsville News. Boiled Down—Not long ago the edi- tor of an English paper ordered a story of a certain length, but when the story arrived he discovered that the author had written several hundred words too many. The paper was already late in going to press, so there was no alternative—the story must be condensed to fit the allotted space. Therefore the last few paragraphs were cut down to a single sentence. It read thus: “The Earl took a Scotch highball, his hat, his departure, no notice of his pur- suers, a revolver out of his hip pocket, and finally, his life.”"—Journal of the American Medical Association. man New Guinea are still flogged by the Hun, the law of the f ossession remaining paramount until peace terms have been decid former Journalistic Atmosphere—“So this is an editorial sanctum?” said the fair visitor. “Yes, ma’am,” replied the editor of the ille Daily Truth. It certainly does need a thorough cleaning.” “These old newspapers, scraps of copy, cigar stubs, pipes, tobacco ashes, sour paste pots and this battered furniture, constitute a sanctum, ma’am. A woman with a broom and a duster would soon convert this peaceful retreat into a cham- ber of horrors.” —Birmingham Age-Her- ald. Harmony The Razoo— A young fellow wrote to a firm in the south of Ireland which was selling razors at five shillings cach. This is the style of his letter: “Please send one of your razors, for which I inclose P. O. for five shillings. *. SI have forgotten to inclose the five shillings, but no doubt a firm of your standing will send one.” They replied: “We beg to acknowledge your esteemed ler, and have pleasure in sending the razor, which we trust you will like We have forgotten to inclose the r but no doubt a fellow with your cheek won't necd one.”—Stray Shots Solving a Problem—A pompous old gentleman, upon reaching home in the afternoon, found the street blockaded and a heap of earth piled against his door- step. Observing a workman wielding his shovel in a nearby ditch, he accosted a passing policeman and complained that the laborer was trespassing upon private property. “What do yez mean by throwing dirt on th’ gentleman's steps?” demanded the officer. “There's no other place t' throw it!” replied the workman, indifferently “Well, thin, in that case, yez had bet- ter dig another hole an’ throw it in there!"” Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. in Discord leasant nc “Can't you make that young cub behave himself? He does nothing but fidget and make waiting for the jazz music to get going well and then I'll box his ears.”