Judge — April 12, 1919 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Blessings of Victory By R. B. Mavriero “H M of my heart!” he cried, “Sausage of my soul! I love thee!” “Oh, thou soap-cake among Menschen!” she responded. “Thy words are as butter to my Kartoffelbrod, as a week's ration of my sugar card! Come to my arms, but squeeze not too tightly lest thou destroyest this textile curio of great price I wear, the which is woven from the wool of that extinct animal the Schaf.” “Say no more, fair one, for thou art fair, art not, beneath the Feldgrau of thy war years? For thy sake I would go through wire entanglements and face the Strafetank of hated England and for thee wrest from the enemy the bar of Scife that will clear from thy brow the soil of the Vaterland and show thy smiling visage to a disgusted world. Come, Katrina, one more osculation ere I hic me to the thick of a new and glorious retreat “Retreat? Ach that iss Victory, Ersatz. Youst so good vie de real thing ven you get used to it, not?” he buckled on his gas mask, giving a sigh of delight as she noted the improve- ment it made in his facial expression. She slipped a last piece of sawdust pone into his empty haversack and assisted his tottering steps toward the waiting : nee cattle coach. Familiar Folks: “Hog the Kaiser!” yelled the hero as the train groancd away upon its un- oa a © as 3 greased wheels. The Gabble Family Ry H.W. Davis Drawn by Avwent Lis ease T will be less harrowing in the long run for you to mect the Gabbles all at once. First in age, experience and volubility comes old Mrs. Sallie Gabble, the one with the eagle eyes and the flabby jowls. Next is the grass-widowed daugh- ter, Mrs. Dorothy Splash, nick- named Dot by mistake. But for her cackling and screaming, she would be a very vampire. Last is Gertie, who will soon be an old maid unless some poor boob lets her marry him. The slogan of the bble crew is, “You keep still—we can go it alone.” In conversation their pow- ers of domination are terrible. When once they get their tongues wrapped around a subject, what anybody else can say is negligible. The Gabbles are somewhat trav- eled and claim to have friends in various distant parts of the United States. They have all their trips memorized, mounted, and ready for instant recital. Old Mrs. Gabble is the guardian imp of the loquacious trinity. She is brazen, loud-mouthed, and _em- barrassingly risqué in a pinch. Mrs. Splash now and then makes a vio- lent attempt to marry again, but so far her quarry has always been scared away by the Gabble gaff. Gertie, who has no mind of her own, puts in most of her tongue agreeing violently and unnecessarily with what her mother and her big sister happen to say. If the Gabbles . should ever move into your block, Drawn by A. Macuerent the best thing you can do is to shift Tuey Return over into a good residence section. comicbooks.com