Judge, 1919-03-15 · page 8 of 36
Judge — March 15, 1919 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page satirizes the "Pessimist"—a character type born under unlucky circumstances (Friday the 13th, black cat present) whose entire life consists of misfortune and failed hopes. The humor lies in exaggerating how pessimists attract bad luck: fed castor oil instead of sugar, forced into tight shoes, rejected by fraternal lodges despite efforts to join, fired despite working hard, missing trains by mere minutes. The satire's target is the pessimistic worldview itself—the author argues such people are actually **useful to society** (benefiting encyclopedia and stock-certificate salesmen) and deserve "no sympathy" precisely because they're pessimists. The final ironic point: "A cheerful pessimism is the noblest form of philosophy." The companion cartoon "New Thoughts" humorously depicts married couples growing to resemble each other physically. The 1950 dated examples at bottom appear to be additions or references, somewhat unclear in purpose.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Hay Rows rely tuo abbreviated. Why Is a Pessimist ? Ry Feepericn Moxon HAT’S easy. A Pessimist is just because he can’t have died of the first attack, but he is spared time and [ help it. He was born some Friday the 143th—in the time again so that he may sample all the newest thing dark o the moon, with a black cat sitting on the — in itts and osis as they are put on the market. doorstep He is the joy of the encyclopwedia peddler, and the He was fed castor oil when he cried for sugar, made thrice blessed of the stock certificate enthusiast. Not to wear tight shoes when he wanted to go fishing bare- because he is an easy mark, but because he was fated to foot, and his whole boyhood made a hard case of “when be in the right mood at the wrong time. With all these a feller needs a frier handicaps if he wasn’t a He gives girls a good fs, Pessimist he would be a time and other fellows Hypocrite — which is marry them. He tries to f worse yet. join fraternal lodges and B The Pessimist is de- the loving brothers turn f serving of all sympathy, him down. He work ¥. 7 and gets it—not. hard for promotion and “ , A cheerful pessimism more pay and gets fired > | is the noblest form of He misses trains by half 7 = aN fy A | 4 philosophy. a minute and not another i 4g I one for six hours. He gets , A a o In 1950 knocked down by taxi : : i ” Flubdub puts on a lot and locked up by police- j : = of dog.” men—on suspicion Z z “His grandfather was If there's anything ewe by Bannspate Hocus very prominent in the world doing in the epidemic line New Tnoucuts war of 1918, 1 understand.” he’s a charter member nce arvied couples By like ‘cach other: Whe “What did he do?” If he had been anything chen ake looky disdainful cou way ‘kaw ‘that you'r Loaned the government but a Pessimist he would \ € rotten : a pair of binoculars, I believe.”” comicbooks.com