Judge — March 8, 1919 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

okey help > the t the re in seat very 10 lum, rave tha isa na joes pw? Rookie Realisms By Private Curster W. Suarer, Ambulance Co. 339, 310th Sanitary Train The Top Sergeant HE top sergeant, tomany lusty ex-soldiers now but a nightmare memory, is a nec- essary equipage in every military com- pany. He possesses the temerity of a goat and the foraging ability of an Indian Runner ducl ., He receives instructions from the officers and is the vehicle of their transportation to the men. He draws down a nice salary and looks as if he was “sitting pretty” ¢ ime he reports the any formed, but he is in line, all the time, condolences. If he ever gets his just reward he'll be privileged to wear the honor and valor es of all the Allied nations with an extra | permit to allow them to flutter from his use front and tinkle in the breeze. The top- ter’s whistle is his chief asset. Without it he would be as baffled as an army without a t On a warm, balmy day, after a heavy when the private is taking a delicious | snooze on his bunk, he likes nothing better than o hear the shrill notes and the gruff command: Fall in with Blouse Coats.”’ On every call the response is animated and full of snap and pep. The whistle is used at all formations. It is suspended from a chain or string from the top- utter’s neck. And there are only a scant few he greatest soldiers in the Army who do not hat this order might be reversed. The top sergeant makes out the duty roster e day and assigns the men to their various ions. By the time he has picked four men for fatigue, six for the kitchen, three for the coal pile and fourteen for extra duty, he finds him- self wondering if he will merely be shot while he sleeps and disposed of quietly, or saved for the next legal holiday and publicly burned at the stake. After a few months he develops the hard- wiled tendencies, a copper bottom and profanity that would make a stevedore long for an oppor tunity to complete his education. \ good top-cutter is loved by his officers and » maligned by his men. A poor one is repri- manded by his superiors and idolized by the pri- vates. Applying this system it may well be judged that he occupies a unique position. He has about as much fun asa sexton, and, if he has survived the war, he is luckier than the dude was sentenced to be electrocuted and had }) the incident postponed so that he could go out- side and hunt for his fountain pen. Light in. Their Darkness EAR SIRS: It has been my good fortune to have in my possession several copies of Judge. They have not only been my cheerful Pal” while fighting on the different parts of be battle-front but also kept my spirits up ng the long monotonous march into Germany, My abode is with a small German family of whom three of the boys have served their time onthe Boche front. When I learned this I took great pleasure in showing them “Old Judge,” thinking that the different representations of the kaiser and the Boche militarism may give Drawn by Saxvoun Towser Tue One mea chance for argument with them. Ina way I was disappointed. They seemed very well pleased the way Judge represents Wilhelm and his clique. Before long I had the entire village calling on me to see Judge. Now Judge has won the hearts of the Boche and through Judge the Kleine Midchens. Pvt. Epwin W. CRUICKSHANK, Co. D, 314 Amm. Tr., A. E. F. Bitburg, Germany, Jan. 6, 1910. Humbled “Hunter doesn’t seem to think so much of His Forte Oil Producer—Tomorrow we will shoot a well. Employee (formerly in German army)—Shoot it? Why not poison it? Arrernoon or THe Weex You Hap Ptaxnep to Go To tHe Batt Game Wits Your Frienp Situ After the War Forty acres and a tractor, Surely that should be a factor In assisting soldier laddies To be useful men and daddies. His Natural Habitat Hokus—I've been looking for Henpeckke everywhere. I wonder where he is. Pokus—Have you looked under his wife's thumb? Future Use “ Now that your brother is back, what are you going to do with your service flag?” “We'll put it in the window again when he gets married.” Soft Pedal Nan—I cried like a baby during the play. Dan—I don’t believe it. You would have been put out if you had. comicbooks.com ae Saw ie Se Sa