Judge — March 8, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Total Loss By Per, Lixonay MePaan, A.B. b. France COLORED patient beside me in the hos- pital seemed to brood and brood over the fact that the Germans had “got” him. His com- mander had ordered him to charge a nest of boche machine guns alone and they shot him in three places as he started towards them. “But Ah'll sho git even with dem fo’ what dey dun to me.” “Well, old man,” I comforted, “you did your duty. Too bad you couldn’t get them, though. But ie “What's dat you say?” he interrupted me, “Couldn't git dem! Why, man alive, dem Guhmans wahn't no troub ‘tall—but_ mah best razah am completely busted up!” His One Ambition erin, Co. C, Wind BLP, France A dusky hero having been cited for bravery was to receive a Croix de Guerre. The night before the ceremony he said proudly to his buddy: “Well, Hen tomorrow the Colonel gives me my Cross de Gear.” Henry—You can have yo Cross de Gear. All I wants is a Cross de Ocean. By Wooosne L His Master's Voice Ky Sarrend. ©. MecLacnnas, (C0, 10 0. BRB. COB TOC. North Camp, Eng. The sergeant-major was giving the rookies a hot time when our mascot—a hairy nondescript canine known as “Sooner’’—trotted on to the parade ground, With the characteristic contempt of impudence for dignity, it crossed over and squatted behind the sergeant-major. He didn’t notice the in- truder—neither did the squad. A deep-throated roar and the squad sprang to “attention.” The s.m. taking a step back, trod on “Sooner’s” tail. The dog yelped— and the boys “formed fours.” Ambition By be R. Met Hospital School, Goat Island, Cal. Rookie—I think I'll stay in the navy until 1 have served thirty years and then retire. Second Rookie—Why, I expect to start into the navy business for myself before I have been in that length of time. Hun Mops Be Court, Bourse 8. Raxpume Co, A, 30d Inf A. EP * A colored regiment was halted while a train of ammunition was passing. Asa car load of extra large shells went by a big negro sergeant wildly exclaimed: “Oh-ee! Dar, chiles, dar goes a cart load ob dem Dutch Cleansers.” hole This Week’s Best Soldier Joke Sans Parole By Pvt. Hexwy Promen, Co. D, 001 Beg. A.B. P. France PY +. Marrers—Wonder why they're cutting doen the trees around our camp? Conronat Krex—That's simple; the French leaves have proven too tempting for the boys. She Understood, Poor Dear! By Laxey, Roneat B Nacumena, Hawthurt Pield, N.Y After a foot-ball game between the teams of two camps near New York City several men were more or less bruised. One of the players, wearing his army uniform, was limping along the street. An old lady came up to him without warning. “Oh, my wounded hero!” she cried and threw her arms around his neck. The limping athlete did his best to explain that it all happened in a game. “How modest of you!” she exclaimed, “But you can’t fool me!” In Freedom's Name Ry ROH, Rexo, U.S. N An instructor in the Naval Radio School, calling the class roll, came to the name of a student who had been discharged from the navy on the previous day. “Reneau” he called. There was silence for a moment then a voice piped up: “He's been pardoned.” Couldn't Fool the Sentinel By Braos K. Kavrwass, El JCI, 8. 8S. Coame. Sentinel—Halt! Who goes there! Vv Private Smith. Sentinel—You can't get because I’m Private Smith away with that unny France, eh? —Uh-Huh! Lapin By Carr. Dovcer Crare, C. WS. “Our cook is @ wonder; he can camouflage monk:y meat so that it will look and taste just like real food. He serves rabbit frequently, but when it comes to rabbit it always has a rabbity taste.” WEIL put up with most anything to help to wallop Fritz, And don’t expect a bill of fare exactly like the Ritz, 3 But we've had to live on rabbit Till it’s got to be a habit And we hate to see it coming with the chow. We crab about corned Willy, but we eat it just the same, And beans of course you have to have, they're in the Army game, But the Q.M. stock of rabbit— How we wish the Hun would nab it! So we wouldn’t see it coming with the chow, We don’t put up a holler at the marmalade we eat Although it’s not as good as jam and isn’t very sweet; But how we hate the rabbit (Though at first we used to grab it) And we wish they wouldn’t serve it with the chow We thrive upon McConikey or any kind of slum, And even when the bread is dark we do not leave a crumb; But we wish they'd leave the rabbit His own burrows to inhabit And not attempt to serve it with the chow. Distinction By Tuomas Urrox, U. 8. 8. Rochester Sergeant (to recruit) —What is an officer with a bar on his shoulder? Recruit—If he has a bar on his shoulder he is a lieutenant, but if he has his shoulder on « bar he is a general. Taking No Orders Ry Pvt, Pease H. Sree M. P. (to colored trooper at gate)—You will have to take those wrapped leggings off before you can leave camp. Rastus—I’s done completely out 0° vo" jurisdiction, boss. I’se got my dis- chahge. Plainly Labelled Ip Pox, Casnuin W. Ronexrern, Q. A. 0, Comp Tpton, N.Y. Vegro Recruit—See here, man, what docs U.S. N. A. on your collar stand for? Second Recruit—Boy, don’t you know? That means Uncle duris Gern M whos on th sreat think the | comicbooks.com