Judge — February 22, 1919 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wrt Ly What George Had in Mind HE Elder Washington (sternly) this, my favorite cherry tree? Little George (hatchet in hand)— Yes, father, I cannot tell a lie—I did it with my little hatchet. But when you stop to consider the great service I am rendering posterity by fore secing the immense possib birthday ideas for the coming jokesmiths and magazine cover artists, I know you will forgive, and at the same time congratulate me for thinking so well towards the future! George, did you cut down es in Sure Enough! What!” snarled an nant customer in. the rapid fire restaurant. ifteen cents ce for eggs’ Why don’t you stun me with a club and take the money away from me?” “Aw, one cgg is a full day's work for a hen.” revur Heloise, the waitress.“ What d'ye want—the poor hen to for noth'n’ 2" ier os LESS a ANS naz} TRATION Tne New Poster (After March 4th) A Tempting Offer By Kate B. Burt N these piping times of peace, trench vocabu- laries must be laid aside, and the old conversational staples will once again be books, music and art for those who wish to appear in society surrounded by a nimbus of culture. Real knowledge is quite unnecessary, but anyone who will send the author one dollar, postage and a self addressed envelope, will receive a Chautauqua of in- — JASERVE Co CROER OF |IMEATLESS | formation calculated to give ADMINI ORES him or her a succés d'es- INIS time at any luncheon or dinner table, with the least possible trouble. To those who choose literature, a list of the minor poets will be sent, the names and works of the most obscure refully marked to use as heavy artillery. “By-the-way, have you read Hickson’s last volume? There are such charming bits in ‘The New Kitchenmaid’.”” If your ego calls for music, painting or sculpture in- stead, you will learn about those who have arrived, are arriving or hope to arrive in these departments, in a similar way. The most valuable part of the whole thing to most people will probably be the correct words to wear with each subject, when to choose melodic, few vood phrases such as—* Pleasantly lyrical,” “a nice quality of vo “it intrigues me greatly,” “lacking the proper balance,” ete. By taking the entire line at wholesale rates, which will be quoted on application, a complete command of all social situations is guaranteed. If a real specialist in, say painting, arrives and opens fire, you bring up your reserves in poetry or music, or both, and he is promptly routed by overwhelming enemy forces and retires. ‘This unusual opportunity should be taken advan- tage of at once, at these extremely low, practically pre- war figures, as the price must shortly be increased owing to scarcity of paper and the present high cost of thinking. intrawsige- Stumped 7—I believe baldness is caused by excessive smok nt—Then tell me why all the Biblical prophets are bald on the pictures we see. comicbooks.com