Judge — February 1, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

f r Where Silence is Golden POLITICS Dangerous Re: k—"I am a ser- vant of the people,” exclaimed the orator. “Don't say that,” whispered the friend. ‘Servants are terribly dictatorial may think you are these days. People trying to be a boss.” —Washington Star. f Sure Of It—“Did you ever observe i; anything about women in private life which could convince you they would } make a success in any political off te “Oh, ves; there’s my wife. She's con- i) vinced me she would make a good speaker ‘ of the house.""—Baltimore American. it Constructive Criticism—" What do ¥ you understand by constructive criti- (i cism?” “My idea of constructive criticism,” replied Senator Sorghum, “is a line of discussion showing why a man ought to vote for me instead of against me.”— She—Isn't she just too lovely for words? ' Washington Star. He—Ves; ald be better in } the m } 4 Same Meaning—"'I understand your campaign manager has objected to some Forestalling Argument—*“ We don’t of your recent speeches.” understand some of the things you said Hi] “Yes,” replicd the college professor in that speech of yours,” said the con- who has entered politics. “I judge from stituent. } what he said that I was imperiling my “Then,” replied Senator Sorghum, { chances of being elected to the high office. gently, “you should not find fault with q to which I aspire, but what he really said me. “What you do not thoroughly un- , was that I was ‘gumming the game.’""— — derstand you cannot intelligently dis- Birmingham Age-Herald. approve of.” —IWash Benevolent Germany ” 4 , | } 4 i | b ’ 1 oi j } i la Société des Nations? to see that at last after four years you have answered my call. Will you that you are indebted to me for a League of Nations?”—Le Rire (Paris). DARKYISMS All Located—In a recent trial in the Shawnee County Court it was necessary for the jury to know the whereabouts of the members of a negro family at a cer- tain time. So the witness was asked: “Where was Mary?” “In de back yahd.” “Where was Jane?” “Upstairs in de front room.” “Where was Ann?” “She was on de front pohch.” “And where was Elizabeth?” “She was in de pantry takin’ a bath.” ~Topeka Pink Rag Comparison—“‘It's just as wrong to gamble when you win as when you lose.” “Yassuh,” asserted Mr. Erastus Pink- “De immorality is jes’ as great, but de inconvenience ain't.” —Washington RY Jae A R T A Subtle Slam—The Editor—What was all that racket in your office? The Critic—A prima donna was threat- ening to sue the paper. published an article about her being engaged to act in the movies “Yes—" And a typographical error made the heading read ‘Scream star was once singer.’”—Youngstown Telegram. Natural Mistake—“Is this a jungle sked the slightly intoxicated an in a movie replied looking at the picture th on a woman’s hat.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Showing Her Age—“ Ever have any trouble with your ingenue? “We used to have some trouble with her,” replied the manager, “but her press agent solved the problem.” “How?” “Whenever she has a tantrum he gets the newspapers to publish the pictures of her two sons who are now holding com- missions under Pershing in France.”— Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com