Judge — January 25, 1919 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GE ° it January 25, 1919 Billets By Pvt. Cuester W. Saree Sanitary Train, “TS are the daily reminders to men in the American Expeditionary Forces that be it ever so humble there is no place like a home in the Etats-Unis. They are the homes of our boys over there and are ferreted out by a billeting officer whose ideas of inconvenience are highly developed. By a civilian, billets would be called barns, sheds or buildings, but for the sake of uniformity and out of respect for the art of camouflage the military gives them the French title, which means “ticket,” and is consequently very satisfactory for those who joined the navy or some other highly combat- ant branch of the recent war. What billets lack in heat they make up in frigidity and whatever they lost in cleanliness during American occupation will forever be a subject for thanksgiving among the natives. They are about as modern as a flint-lock rifle and, in the bulk, are full of straw and negotia ble by a ladder. With such billets, no provi- sion is made for the jolly Yank filled with a rare vintage who falls to the ground below, other than the caption in the casualty lists—* Died of Other Causes.” billet, back in the Safe and Sound ar be a school, a city hall, a gymnasium, home or a shop. Up at the edge of the line they are sheds and barns or French barracks. Ahead of the line they are not. Rats in billets are big enough to carry sidearms and should have been drafted into service early in the war. French rats are playful. And a reposeful face always makes a good toboggan. A she-goat pen is invariably near or right inside the billet and many a strong-hearted American has laid awake nights wondering how he could apply for membership to the sorority. Horses and cows are also widely used to remind the soldier that he is not at 22nd and Broadway Floors are of stone and there is the same mea- sure of pleasure sleeping on them as caressing a statue of the Venus de Milo. Another favorite sport is ducking under the blankets to escape the rain that drops through the roof and cursing the oversight in not having learned the Australian crawl. Billets for officers have high beds with huge feather mattresses for added warmth. These are occasionally seen when the mistress of the home who makes the bed and builds the fire in the grate inadvertently leaves a blind open. Up near the front billets are marked—15 Men— —2 Horses—1 Officer. That’s the scale of com- petition. Newton’s laws of motion were not considered. In a billet where French lice hold priority claims and the flippant cooties hurry to the big mass meeting as soon as the candle has been extinguished the bon soldat convinces himself very easily, that the world will never be entirely safe for Democracy. And then he ROMEIKE’S PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU We will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends ject on which you may want to be “up-toxtate.” ‘per and periodical of importance in the United urope is searched. Terms $6.00 per 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave, New York wishes that his particular army had adopted the uniform of the Gold Dust Twin: Not long ago there was a five-room house in the village of Charmes-La-Cote (Charming Cootie) in France which was designated as a billet. The main room downstairs was used by an old man, his wife, their daughter and her son as a living room. Adjoining was a large room that contained a wine press, a stall for an antiquated cheval, for a cow, and a small en- closure for a zealous pig In the rear, still on the ground floor, unless it is being moved by the rats at this writing, was a place for ten ducks, a pet fox and twenty-f rabbits, Upstairs there was a hayloft and one room which was occupied by fourteen Amex soldiers—the personnel including a Finn, three Polish comrades, two Italians, a Canadian cook, an Irish corporal, a bugler, an Ojibwa Indian from Petoskey, Michigan, a Missourian and three Americar One day the soldiers, the ducks, the cow, the pig, some of the rabbits and the boy were out front talking to the old lady and her daughter when the old man came up leading the cheval. And the old man stopped and straightened up and looked around and said: “Quelque famille.” And the soldiers said: “Oui, oui.” After which everything answered retr So It Goes “Flubdub thought he'd teach his wife s) tem. Gave her a check book and all that.’ “Well, is he pleased with the result?” “No, she immediately embarrassed him by buying a spool of thread and trying to bully the shopgirl into taking a check for four cents.” Married Life “Well, how’s married life?” “Oh, all right.” “Do you and your wife general?” “Not entir outdoor sport. on things in She thinks smoking is an There’s a Surprise for You in NAVTO WA Evans NON-INTOXICATING U pto-Date Grocers, Drugaists and Dealers. Ne Government THE SOFT DRINK WITH A SNAP TO IT. C. H. EVANS & SONS Est. 1786. HUDSON, N.Y, | ers . License Required | HOTEL BINGHAM -- Philadelphia IN THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING ier in every room. Only hotel bi ¥ and Elevated connection with stations, ferries and department stores. Roof Garden, Club Breakfast. special Luneheona. Roums without batt With bath, $2.00up. FRANK KIMBLE, Man. But By H.W. Dee DO not care a tinker’s toot How women dress, Small difference it makes to me, 1 do conf But when I see some bulky dame In tall white boots, I want to go out in the woods And live on roots. Indeed, I do not give a rap What women do, I care not that they drink and swear, Or smoke and chew: But when I hear some To give a toast, I want to groan one groan, Become a ghost. cutie” try Draven by A. B. Warxen We would suggest that all married or engaged army officers wear this insignia on their arms. It will protect them from much annoyance. comicbooks.com | ;