Judge — December 28, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DARKYISMS Comparing Notes—It seemed that when Rastus and Sam died they took different routes; so when the latter got to heaven he called Rastus on the ‘phone. “Rastus,” he said, “how yo’ like it down thar?” “Oh, boy! Dis here am some plac replied Rastus. “All we has ter do is to ara red suit wid horns, an’ ebery now den shovel some coal on de fire. We don’t work no more dan two hours out ob de twenty-four down here. But tell me, Sam, how is it with you up yonder?” Mah goodness! We has to git up at fo’ o’clock in de mawnin’ an’ gathah in de stahs; den we has to haul in de moon and hang out de sun. Den we has ter roll de clouds aroun’ all day long.” “But, Sam, how comes it yo" has ter work so hard?” “Well, to tell de truf, Rastus, we’s kin’ o’ short of help up here.”"—Cassells Sat- urday Journal. Germani. Vain Dream d rfressen! herself sick!—L+e Rire (Par Germe Kitchen Colloquy—“Is de left hind foot of a rabbit a sign of luck?” us remarked Mr. Erastus Pink- ney, “if you owns de rest of de rabbit.” Washington Star Too Much Arithmetic—Uncle Mose Lightfoot approached a clerk in the drug > and inquired: any three-cent stamps?" “No,” the clerk replied, “we're all out of threes.”” “Dat’s too bad,” said Uncle Mose, use dis letter ought to go out to- night.” “We have plenty of twos.”” “But dis letter goes out ob town.” “ And we have plenty of ones.” “But one won't take it.” “Couldn't you put on a two and a one?’ “Huh?” “Or three one: As the old man ambled toward the door he scratched his head and answered: “Maybe I could; maybe I could; but I ain’t got no time to be foolin’ roun’ tryin’ to add up.”—Youngstown Telegram. ste WHEEZES The Safer Way—“He called his mother-in-law an old cat.” “That took some courage.” “Oh, he didn’t do it in words; he sent her a package of c@nip."”—Boston Tran- script. Home-Made Proof—“Do you be. lieve in heredity?” “Of course 1 do,” replied the gent “Why, I've got one of the Washing egotist. brightest boys you ever saw.” ton Star. No Romance—‘“ Prince, Cinderella left her slipper behind.” “Well?” “Your cue is to find her and marry ha her: Not with shoes at present prices. \ girl as careless as that with footgear would never make a thrifty wife.”— Louisville Courier-Journal. comicbooks.com