Judge — December 28, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THE FARM Reason for the Exodus—A new reason why boys leave the farm is printed in the News Letter of the University of North Carolina. “Thinkers of pulpit, platform, press,” sings the bard, “are wallowing in deep distress,"” seeking to know the hid den cause of the migration. Is it longing for a taste of faster life? Not at all, replies the farmer boy I left my dad, his farm, his plough, Because my ‘calf became his cow. I left my dad, "twas wrong, of course, Because my colt became his horse. And so with lamb, pig, and even garden truck, which “was his to sell, but mine to hoe.” Can this dark picture be true?— New York Exening Post. A Festive Bucolic—First Agricultu- rist—Hello, Cy, whatcha going to raise this year? Second Farmer—Prices, if the govern- ment will let me.—Indiana polis Star. Entirely Too Thorough—A certain farmer, who lives not far from Youngs- town, had the habit of collecting so meny old buggies and vagons that his yard was littered with them most of the time. The wife of the farmer, who has en- tirely different ideas about the way things should be conducted, resolved to make a clean-up. Accordingly, she assembled the ram- shackle vehicles in an open space, set fire The Imperial Four-Flusher to them, and gleefully watched them disappear. When the husband returned from town he drove to the back yard, looked about him, rubbed his eyes, and cried excitedly: ‘eat bubbling beeswax, Henrietta, ¢ is everything?” Why,” replied his wife, “I just burned up a lot of old trash.”” The husband gulped, gasped, cleared his throat, and then blurted out: “But heavens to Betsy, Henrietta, two of them borrowed!""—Youngstown Telegram. Pomado Perfecto détestabl “TL can't understand it. I waited in line an hour to get godd cigars and now this one seems worse than ever."—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). agons and one buggy was, YOUNGSTERS A High-brow Definition—Willie— Paw, what is meant by straitened cir- cumstances? Paw—Straitened circumstances is high- brow language for being down and out, my son.—Cincinnait Enquirer. Only Left It a Comb— nma,”* said Bobby, “ when you told the new cook to dress the chicken, she started to un- dress it.”"—Boys’ Life. Allin a Twinkling—A lady who had just received an interesting bit of news said to her little daughter: “Marjorie, dear, auntie has a new baby, and now mamma is the baby’s aunt, papa is the baby’s uncle, and you are her little cousin.” “Wel said Marjorie, wonderingly, “wasn't that arranged quick!""— Boston Transcript. Rebuked—“I met our new minister to Sunday school, mamma,” “and he asked me if I ever played marbles on Sunday.” “ What did you answer?” asked mother, “I simply s “Get thee behind me, Satan!’ and walked off and left him,” was the triumphant response.—Utica Ob- server. Sausages Wanted—Little Pete had been a very bad boy. His father had heard him using some unusually lurid cuss words, and, in order to punish him, had placed the lad under a barrel, there to remain without his dinner. But sister Annabelle Marie felt so sorry for brother Petey, she resolved to go to him and try to console him. “Couldn’t you get me something to eat?” asked Petey, through the bunghole. “I'll go and see,” said Annabelle Marie. In a few moments Annabelle Marie came back and said through the bung- hole: “I'm sorry, Petey, but the only things I could find wuz some bean soup and some custard pie.”"—Youngstoun Telegram. Remembered her Etiquette—M other (as Marjorie concludes her prayer) —You prayed the Lord to bless mamma and papa; why didn’t you ask him to bless grandma 2 Marjorie—I didn’t think it would be polite to ask for so much all at once.— Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com