Judge — December 28, 1918 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Digeol of the Vorlds Hamar Tommy Malaprop ey BAD BREAKS She Did—She was a four fr, par A Versatile Walker—* My lord walks ticularly as to her abilities in various into it as unsuspecting as a baby, and sports. “Do you golf?” he asked. WALKS OUT OF IT A DEAD MAN.” —An Oh, I love golf,” she answered. “1 swer's Library play at least 36 holes twice a week.” “And how about tennis?” “T won the woman's championship in our state.” And do you swim?” “The best I ever did was a half mil straight away,” she replied Somewhat fatigued he changed to literature. “And how do you like Kip ling?" he asked “TL kippled an hour only yesterday,” was her unblushing reply.—J Imerican Medical Association rnal of the Rather Discouraging—" Miss Will ing,” began the young man as he wiped the perspiration from his brow, “are you “If they are new, Mr. Woodby,” re plied the fair maid. “1 simply dote on “But the one I was going to tell 3 Miss Willing, is not new,” said the young man. “It is, I might say, Miss Willing—or, Clara—the old, old story, but a “O, never mind, George,” she interrupted. “Even if it is a chestnut, I'm sure I never heard it Go on, please!” ittsburgh Chroni- cle-Telegraph ou She Missed the Cat We are glad to learn that Mrs. Willets is able to be out again. It is nearly two months since she kicked at the catand broke her kneecap against the door. Society has missed her very much. Homestown (Pa.) Bann The Little Schemers! that women are going to wear their skirts longer, it’s probably because they want the men to look at their hats Record. Precaution—Jack you said was in strict confidence? didn’t want her to think s important cnough to repeat.— Boston Transcript. wl—No; | it’s true Columbia Did you tell her Exit Grunting with Indignation Fraxcese—Ci cuole un po" It w nce to et him out of here, but I'm rid of him Why the Editor Left Town—Hardy Claycomb is confined to his home with the Spanish influenza. Miss Minnie Luft is also confined to mts bed with the epidemic.—Monmouth (Ill.) Atlas Hearts of Oak—“Whether it be a simple garden frock or an elaborate din ner gown, Miss Hopson wears it with all the wonderful grace and charm typical of the true ExGLsuMan.”—Halifax Erening Courier He Burgled in His Sleep—While sleeping soundly last night a burglar entered the bedroom of Mr. and Mrs Mortimer Wood, who reside on a farm a mile out of Whitehall on the Poultney road, and succeeded in taking $275 out of the trousers pocket of Mr. Wood which were hanging over the back of a chair. Glens Falls (N. ¥.) Times. Super-Butchery—“He caught him forced him at the pistol point to give up the stolen property, and then cut off one of his Ears. “It will be BoTH EARS, and both hands if I catch you again.”” Pictorial Magazine Quiet Stillness—* There was no sound of w at all just the SOUND OF SILENCE.” rening Standard (Lon- don) Cow-ardly Publicity-- “For sale. Horse suitable for BEEF purposes.” —Shef- field (Eng.) Independent. comicbooks.com