Judge — December 7, 1918 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ever Notice It? By Cuartes Caspnent Joxes ANY a one, made to M fit a tiny body, helps to prove that there is a Santa Claus. Then, in charge of mother or an unsympathetic older sister, you run the gauntlet of a lot of strange women and come suddenly on heaven only knows how many of them. These have faces, all alike, that smirk and grin at you and declare almost audibly: “Never Drown by A.B. Watxen you mind, young fellow, if Ovex one of us doesn’t get you another undoubtedly will!” And Some years later you have learned all there is to : or another does. forget and the time has come for the Job. As you pass through the offices to get it they affect you strangely again. Different shapes and sizes now, few of them alike, every one a different leer, each more sinister than that preceding. At last you come to the Big Un It is as tall as Pike’s Peak, as broad as the Sahara Desert, and its grin is like unto the Crack O' Doom You can just barely peer over it. You flap your hamlike hands and stum- ble over your own feet | trying to travel around = | it. Butthe Jovian light- nings do not blast you, er all, and when you » out those in the offices—some of them, anyway —seem almost friendly. After that you have always one of your ver} own. That one gets to be . as familiar as his shell to ~ a snail, ‘Te's ‘you, and & you're it. It’s a part of 7 f you, and most assuredly you have to lug it. Yet, feeling like that about it, you will still fight madly for the right to continue. And of all that has gone before and of all ter, the el sits at - 7 Save ano Serve BUY W:S.S. t comes Recording An acelestial one keeping a | record, — — Surely they do exert some influenc Desks Shocking “Thirty cents a gallon.” “What? For buttermilk? Why, I can get gasoline for that!” Drown by Joun Mri, Ju (from oversea Doughboy (from oversea ed twice rut ‘Tor On a stormy ev Horrid! LBERT claimed _ her ‘Tuesday nights, Fred- crick was allowed to call on Thursdays, and Hugh was given her Sundays after supper She dearly loved her three suitors, and thought it clever to keep them in doubt. They liked her very much; but, strange to say, + they thought well of cach other, had practical ideas, and quite often exchanged confidences. ning not so long ago, they met by agreement at a certain club, where they talked some- thing over. Came Christmas morning and a messenger to her home. Eagerly she receipted for a parcel, seized it and tore aside the wrappings. In a small box she spied a choice gift which pleased her more than a little, until she read on a_ bit of cardboard: “Yuletide Greetings! From Albert, Frederick and Hugh.” Time for a Change “There's one thing cer. \ tain,” said the fat plumber, | “and that is, I gotta get me a new honker for my car | before I take it out again.” | “Whatsa matter th { you have now?” the thin carpenter inquired “ T went to take Umson for a drive the other da id “Yo—" # after I had stood in front of the house for ten minutes honking the honker, his wife came to the door and yelled: *We don’t want any fish today!” one Sure Thing Some menare usually quite sure of the Christmas pres- ence of their wives’ relatives. Indisputable Stranger—How far is it from here to Swamptown? Native—Just nin® miles. “How far is it from Swamptown to this place?” “Don’t you know that it is as far from one place to another as it is from that place back?” “Oh, I don’t know; it isa lot farther from New Year's to Christmas than it is from Christmas New Year's. comicbooks.com