Judge — November 23, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Superfluous Civilian FOOD Going Too Far—‘It’s time to draw the line somewhere on this food conserva- tion,”” exclaimed the hired man. “What's the trouble?” inquired Farm- er Corntassel. I overheard your folks out in the Kitchen tryin’ to get up some way to make pumpkin pie without puttin’ sugar into it.”—Washington Star. Obsolete—“Where’s that old joke about hash?” inquired the man who had just’ returned from an_ exploration “Hash?” repeated the landlord. “Oh, yes! There was once a time when people could afford to eat meat and potatoes all at once.”—Kansas City Star. straw hat he ¢ Rire (P The Truth At Last—“Surely you are not going to slay that fowl,” remarked the Bystander to the man in Acsop’s story as the latter walked, axe in hand, toward the goose that laid the golden egg. “Yes, I am,” replied the owner: “What,” exclaimed the stranger, “and that bird producing 18-carat eggs.” “Oh shucks,” responded the owner of the goose, “I won’t miss that bird much. I've got a cow that’s giving 60- cent butter and, rs-cent milk.”— Detroit News Notice Required—* My doctor warns me not to overeat.” “Any objection to that?” “No. Only I could have got the same advice from Mr. Hoover for nothing.”” Washington Star. EDUCATION Proof—Crusty Boss—That young fel- low you hired yesterday is just out of college, isn’t he? Office Manager—V es, sir Crusty Boss—1 thought so. him something and he said know.” —Ginger. I asked “ET don't Ever Notice ‘Em?—Can movie actors read? Apparently not, if we may judge by their attitudes upon the screen when forced to pose with a book in their hands. How gingerly they hold those books- such LARGE books, too—as they sit, holt upright in front of massive ma hogany desks as if awaiting execution No, they are really waiting only to be interrupted. That is what books are for in the movies, you know, to be inter. rupted with. (How would you say that? You know what we mean.) And lo, WHEN interrupted, mygod how glad they are!—how natural they become! How cagerly they throw that strange object aside and look up—even smite! A movie actor can do almost every- thing to a book except read it.—.luthors’ League Bulletin. Learning His Lesson—'‘The kaiser What's the matter with him now?’ “He doesn’t seem to be able to fill out his questionnaire.” —Kansas City Journal. Proud of It, Too—Neighbor—They tell me your sonison the college football team. Proud Mother—It is quite true! Neighbor—Do you know what posi- tion he plays? Proud Mother—I'm not sure, but [think he’s one of the drawbacks!—Truth Seeker. Hands Up > Great Set-Back.—Eoening News (Lon comicbooks.com