Judge — November 23, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Drink Hearty, Gentlemen!” The Festive Bored.—Bystander (London YOUNGSTERS mentioned the name of her schoolmates and said he wa: ilent as the Sphinx.” “The Sphinx! The Sphinx!” exclaimed Paul, her young brother. “Oh, gee! I know what a Sphinx is—that’s one of those things that grows in Egypt and looks like George Washington Francisco Chronicle He Knew—Virginia f one San Preparedness—On being reprimanded for getting his clothes muddy, little Roy d: “Well, mother, I’m getting used to dirt so when I’m a soldier in the trenches I won't mind it Boston Transcript. A Mystery Explained—When a young woman approached an_ elderly man, in a department store the other day, and said, “ You don’t know me, but I know you very well,” the latter replied: “Tam afraid you are mistaken.” “Aren't you Mr. Umson?” I surely am.” “T have known you and your family for some time.” “T can’t just place you.” “No, you don’t know me, but I know more about you and your wife, and about your family affairs, than some of your closest relations.”” “How in the world—” “Oh, there is nothing mysterious about it; your little girl is one of my pupils in school.” —Youngstown Telegram. Wondering— Mother, coming into the kitchen one afternoon, saw Bobby gazing ata dish of newly baked tarts. “What are you doing, Bobby?” asked, sharply. “T was just wondering, mother.” “Wondering? You haven't touched those tarts, I hope.” “Not yet, mother,” said Bobby. “I was just wondering if they're nice enough to be whipped for."—Montreal Daily Star. she A Case of Flatulency—Uncle Bill, uring an explosion in the immediate ghborhood, said to his small nephew, sitting in the automobile beside him: “Get out, Jimmy, and look at the tire, and see if it is flat.” “It looks pretty good,” said Jimmy upon inspection. “It’s only flat on the bottom side.” —Everybody’s Magaz h te the World Sunday Would Depopu Little Jack Smith's school teacher, after a lesson on A\nanias and ked, “Why is not everybody ¢ se Bos- e wouldn’t be anybody left.” ‘anscri pt. said the minister to I hear you are Sure!—* Bobby,” a little fellow aged six, going to school now. “Yes, sir,” was the reply “What part of it do you like best?” “Comin’ home,” was the prompt an- swer.—Boys’ Life. BUSINESS Reassured Himself—A city man tells this story of a well-known. finan- cic wo company promoters once called on him to arouse his interest in a scheme of theirs. They talked to him about an hour. Then they took their leave. “I believe we've got him,” said the first promoter hopefully. “T don’t know I the other, “He seems very suspicious.” “Suspicious?” echoed the first. “What you think he is suspicious “Didn't you notice,” was the reply, “how he counted his fingers after I had shaken hands with him?”—Washington ost. No Intelligence— Mrs. Flatbush—1 understand your husband is conducting an intelligence office. Mrs. Bensonhurst—Why call it such a name? The typewriter can’t write, the operator can’t spell, and the boss don’t count.— Yorkers Statesman. Out in the Cold—"Do you think 1 could see Mr. Wombat any time soon?” “T don’t know. He's pretty busy.” “T know he I can hear him tell- ing funny stories to an appreciative audience. But why not let me join the crowd?" —Loxispille Courier-Journal. Pills for the Hun Populace Lr Doreur pe Prrutes—J"ai beaw forcer la dose, sire, je ne sais d quoi ¢a tient, mais (a ne prend’ plus. Official Sugar-Coater—I tried forcing the dose, All-Highest; but somehow they won't swallow it the way they used to.—Le Rir (Paris). comicbooks.com