Judge — November 16, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pacifist Hospitality i j | J i i “The enemy is in your home. I grant you th ; to talk with him."—L¢ Rire (Paris) i ‘on - a | WET AND DRY | Reptilian Meanness in Dry Arkan- sas—Arch Hogue was bitten twice on his ankle by a snake one night last week. It was dark and he did not get to see what kind of snake it was.—Comway (rk.) Log Cabin. 1 Out in the Cold—“ Nobody scems to 1 object to prohibition,” said the visitor | at Crimson Gulch. “Well,” replied Broncho Bob, “Three Finger Sam is j right resentful. He’s ‘gettin’ to feel lonesome an’ neglected. It’s been near six months now since any one come around givin’ him heart-to-heart talks i an’ telling him what a great man he'd be if he'd let liquor alone.” —Washington Star. Experience—Park—Field is a great temperance lecturer. Wood—But he made one grand mis- take, once. Park—What was that? Wood—He didn’t want to talk about anything without full first-hand informa- tion, Park—No— Wood—So he made up his mind to try every kind of a drink just once. Park—I see Wood—The great mistake he made was in trying to finish the job in one eve- ning.—Youngstown Telegram. at, but, my friend, that gives you The Honor of His Family—The prisoner arrested for being drunk and dis: orderly had given his name as Thomas Edison. “Is that your real name?” judge next morning in court “Well, yer honor,” replied the man. “LT admit that I only gave it as a cover You see, I hated to bring dishonor and disgrace upon a respectable name.” Boston Transcript. asked the Hippocratic—* Well,” said the bone- dry worker, “I guess we've got John Barleycorn on the hip now, sure.”” “Well, speakin’ for myself,” said the unregencrate party, “I've got a little old half-pint of him there.”—Montreal Star All Bung ed Up and Nowhere to Go E ‘The Skeptic.—Evening News (London). Best copy —— | NEIGHBORS That Friendly Spirit—I sce live next door to Mrs. de Style.”” “We do.” “Has she ever called on you?” “Once, informally, to tell me that if I didn’t keep my dog quiet she'd have me pinched.” —Louiscille © Journal, you A Far-Sighted One— Mrs. Fla Who is that man talking so louc his garden? Mrs. Bensonhurst band Mrs. Flatbush—But he’s talking carly green peas and beans at this s of the year? Mrs. Bensonhurst—Oh, yes, my | band is a man of advanced ideas. talking about his next year’s garde Yonkers Statesman. That is my Their High Calling—Mrs, Riley— yez on callin’ terms wid our neighbor Mrs. Mur phy—Oi am that. She cal me a thafe an’ Oi called her another Boston Transcript. Would Help Some—Patience—Yi know that neighbor of yours? atrice—Sure. ’atience—She told me she'd loved t do something to help humanity. atrice—Well, why don’t she give uy singing?—YVonkers Statesman. ——— cy Horrid Things!—* The neighbors ob- ject to your running the lawn mower at six o'clock in the morning,” said Mrs. Crosslots. ‘ “Which neighbors?” asked her hus- band. “The ones who play the phonograph till two o'clock in the morning.” —Wash- ington Star. Sure Thing—An Oriental story tells of a man who was asked to lend a rope to a neighbor. His reply was that he was in need of the rope just then. “Shall you need it a long time?” asked the neighbor. “I think I shall,” replied the owner, “as I am going to tie up some sand with it.” “Tie up sand!” exclaimed the would. be borrower. “I do not sce how you can do that!” “Oh, you can do almost anything with a rope when you do not want to lend it,” was the reply.—The Christian Register. } comicbooks.com