Judge — October 26, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Var is Conversation By Jay" US PETERSON ha G bane grate faller for figgering tings out and ven de var start dishar Gus ha try tu no vot is it all about, so ha skal reading avery ting from history. De more ha read de less ha no, but ha lak tu fight yust de same. First ha try tu git in air plain service, but de recruiting faller tal Gus de: don’t vant hot air, so ha don’t no vat tu du and ha skal ask Svedish consul. De consul advise dis Gus tu vait for draft, but Gus say ha ain’t vant tu vork in bank. He lak tu fight de kaiser or dis har Drown ty WM. Fetmeayn faller Hinderburg. Annie vay de officer vont let Gus git in de var on account ha got running down of de ankle, so Ole Svwanson tal hem de ting tu du is go tu Vashington and be a officer. So Gus peck his valise and vent tu sea Presidents Vilson. Ha bane gone avay about sax veeks and ven ha cum back ha skal tal avery vone all ha no about de var. “Vashington is a grate place,” Gus say, “but ha bane so crowded vith Officer Ay ain’t can hardly find HOMAS DUNE A a place to slee “Yas,” Ole Svwanson say say var is hal, ain’t he Gus. ‘0,’ Gus answer, “dis Sherman don’t no vat ha vas talking about. Var ain’t hal. It’s conversa- tion. “If you don’t belief me listen tu Congress.” Sherman var right ven ha go back tu Vashington and ion A Secular Benedic' And may the peace that passeth all German understanding be with you soon. Drawn by Ousos Low ett Teutonic IpEats Tue Newry Exuisteo Taxt Cuaurreur Has a Vivin Dream Blister’s Folly - M Y second boy, Blister, means well, but he ain’t got much IVI sense, even if everybody does say he takes after me stated Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “T’uther morning I told him I was going to take a passel of chickens to town to sell, and for him to tie their legs together. He is an economical little cuss, and he thought and thought, and then went to work to save string by tying the legs of every two chickens together—the cast leg of one to the west leg of the other, instead of tying each fowl’s own legs together by their selve “The upshot was that when I opened the door of the hen pen whur he was still laboring and thinking, them dad-blamed insects just flipped out and was gonc—each couple running like heck with their outside legs and hopping wooden-leggedly along on their inside limbs. All except two pairs, which he had tied, one facing the front and the other the back; when they started to flee they just nacher'ly ran around cach other till they got dizzy and fell down. That boy has got so little sense that I betcha he goes to the legislature when he grows up.’ The Zero of Achievement “But did he never have a worthy ambition in his life?” we asked. “Apparently not,” ree plied Cyrus K. Savage. “At any rate, he has been a can didate three different times for the office of lieutenant- governor.” “Go to War!” “(CRO to war!” the heuse- wife said To the bum who begged for bread. Shamedly he hung his head, For of Sherman he had read, And got her” when she said “Go to war comicbooks.com