Judge — October 19, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEEZES | Le — Tender Hearted—Seth Stearns, the premier hunter of Wisconsin, is at loss to account for the chicken-heartedness of the modern hunter and his disin- clination to kill. Maybe the modern hunter is like the fellow who stalked a hippopotamus, raised his rifle to shoot and then put it down again, saying, “ By jove, I can’t do it! She looks so much like an aunt of mine!""—Buffalo News A Home Repeater—‘ Good morn- ing.” “Good morning.” “You remember that house you sold me last week?" “Certainly “Well, I had my wife up to see it yes- terday, and now I want to sell it back to you again.” * But you said you admired the house.” “I did.” “What fault do you find with it now?" It has an echo in it “That doesn’t hurt it.”” “Yes it does.” “In what way?” “When my wife scolds me for stay- ing out late the blamed old house will repeat it six or seven times, and gosh. how I do hate nagging!"’—Youngstown Telegram Much Cheaper—Bill—He said I had some trouble with my stomach Gill—What was it? “IT don't know. He called it by some very long word.” “And did you consult a physician? “No; IL consulted a dictionary.”— Yonkers Statesman Irish, Both—A ged Criminal (who has just got a life sentence)—Oh, yer honor, I shall never live to do it. Judge (soothingly)—Never mind! Do as much of it as you can.—Boston Tran- script A Gnusance—The Chronicle an- nounces that ‘‘a white-bearded gnu has been born at the Zoo"’—an item we would rather have expected to find in the Exening Gnus.—London Opinion. Room for One Only — Down— What's the matter, old chap? You look broken up. Brown—Yes, I've got a cold or some- thing in my head. Down—Oh, it must be a cold!—London Tit-Bits. =) (Barbara and Alan having been consider- ably disturbed by the attentions of a blue- bottle fly.) Barba window. dAlan—Oh, nc off his envine own out of the he’s only shut Drink Delusions—A couple of old rounders were sitting in a bar-room im bibing cocktails. Presently one of them remarked: “Do you know, Bill, I think I'll buy this hot “Wait till w had a few more drinks,” said Bill, “and I'll sell it to you.” —Boston Transcript. Shameless “Quelle gécheuse! Un pareil t she unpatriotic!—wea n’ a robe like tume au mom [ CouRTSHIP \ | eee Her Curiosity—AM iss Sharp—Canit be true that you made a bet at your club that if you proposed to me I wouldaccept you? Mr. Flighty—Well, 've proposed. Will you? Miss Sharp—How much did you bet? London Answers. The Trouble—She—Alice and I can hardly understand each other over the phone. He—Well, talk one at a time Transcript. Boston Times Change—" Twenty years ago I wanted to propose to you, but you were such a belle that I lacked the nerve.” “Perhaps it is just as well. I would have refused you then. As it is: , She rested her head on his shoulder at this point —Kansas City Journal. Craft—“ Father, if James should ask permission to marry me I want you to withhold your consent.” “Don’t you want to marry him?” “Yes, and I'm going to, but [don’t want him to get the notion that you're anxious to get rid of me.”"—Detroit Free Press. Soothing His Fears—//e—I under- stand your father said if he found me here in he would kick me out of the door. She—Oh, don’t worry; father’s punting is wretched.—Boston Transcript. Extravagance nt de la crise du papier!” Le Péle-Méle that when paper's so scarce comicbooks.com