Judge, 1918-10-19 · page 11 of 32
Judge — October 19, 1918 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Familiar Folks" — Judge Magazine Satire This page presents three satirical character sketches typical of early-20th-century American humor magazines. **Mrs. Iva Sharpe Paine** (top): A hypochondriac matriarch who obsesses over illness. The satire targets her and similar "granny" figures who dominate households by constantly diagnosing ailments—real and imaginary. She's had multiple surgeries (costing $2650, a substantial sum), yet remains convinced good health is suspicious. Her children remain confined awaiting "something to break out." The joke: she creates anxiety and sickness through worry rather than preventing it. **The Young Author** (middle): A struggling writer rejected 46 times finally reaches heaven, where St. Peter grants any wish. He demands the rejecting editor send him a $1,100 acceptance check—specifically to mock the editor by returning it. The satire mocks both the author's petty spite and the publishing world's callousness toward struggling writers. **Festus Pester** (right): A man convinced of his own importance and influence—stock-promoters and publishers value him—yet ordinary people dismiss him as "old man Pester." The satire ridicules self-important men who mistake transactional flattery for genuine respect.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
No. J. By H. \ Illustration by RS. IVA SHARPE PAINE is fat, well fed, and fifty-five. She lives with her married daughter and supervises all the illnesses— acute, chronic, and prospective—that afflict the household. She is a practical symptomatologist and a sworn enemy to all case of mind or body. Granny Paine has had all the symptoms of all the diseases known tothe Ladies’Aid. Inaddition she has been operated on four times fora total of one appendix and $2650. Her appetite, her tongue, and her imagination as yet unimpaired, but her son-in-law doesn’t set how they can hold out much longer. In the prevention, inauguration, and continuation Familiar Folks. “So Far Tuey Have Hap Noruinc But tae Meastes ano Waoopinc Coucn” Mrs. Iva Sharpe Paine V. Davis AtBert LEVERING of the diseases of children, Mrs. Paine is a marvel. Johnnie, James, and little Nell have spent most of their young lives in the detention room on the third floor waiting for something to break out. So far they have had nothing but the measles and whooping cough, and lots of symptoms and inoculations. Each of the children now contains 17 kinds of serum and 42 million antibodies. ’ Mrs. Paine doesn’t believe in health. It is not at all dependable, she says. She maintains that one can not be nervous and ex- citable and full of despair without sickness in the family. Besides, if everybody is feeling weil, what is there to talk about? What He Wanted 2 young author, who had been starved to death on earth because he could find no \ 2 editors willing to risk publish- £> ing his stuff, was admitted to be) cd a the gates of heaven by St. Pet Now,” said that distin- guished spirit, “you are per- mitted tomakeany request you desire, and it will be granted. This is the first reward for the faithful.” “Anything?” returned the author, doubtfully. “Anything,” said St. Peter. hen, I desire that the editor of Rejection Magazine be forced tosend meacheck for $r1ooin acceptance of my recent story which was turned down forty-six times.” St. Peter gazed at the new- comer in surprise. “Why,” he said, “you will have no use for money in this place.” “Tknow I won't, but I want to fire the check back at that editor witha printednote: available for present u Drawn by Kt, B. Bouirw ” His I His Status AM not rated at my true worth by my immediate neighbors and the majority of my fellow men,” confessed Festus Pester. “In reality, I am a prominent and influential citizenanda person of profound judgment and great strength of mind. Gentlemen whoaresell- ing oil stocks, mining shares, or corner lots in theDismalSwamp acknowledge that fact at once. Workers in great causes who wish me to contribute liberally thereto, Hon’s who have been earnestly solicited by their many friends to run for office and hope toget my vote,and the suave representatives of large publishing houses who call upon ly the few persons in each community whoare of sufficient culture to appreciate the valu- able literary works which they are purveying, all tell me so. And, yet, the everyday Toms, Dicks and Harrys, who do not want anything from me, refer to me as ‘old man Pester,’ and pay no attention whatever to my opinions and theories.” i 7 4 Tome comicbooks.com ,