Judge, 1918-09-14 · page 9 of 32
Judge — September 14, 1918 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis for Modern Readers This Judge magazine page contains three distinct pieces of humor: **"The Smallest Soldier"** (top): A poem-illustrated story about a child excited by military drums, reflecting early-20th-century attitudes toward children and warfare during what appears to be WWI era. **"The Bounds of Modesty"** (middle): A sleeping-car anecdote playing on Victorian embarrassment about undressing. A passenger asks if he must get dressed to move between train cars—the humor lies in his concern about propriety and the porter's bemused responses. **"A Mystery" and "Bad Opening"** (right): Rural dialect humor. The first depicts backwoods conflict (a newcomer curses at Gap Johnson; children pelt him with rocks). The second shows a political candidate approaching Uncle Si, who suggests the young man should be running *from* the Kaiser instead—wartime political satire. The large illustration shows a WWI soldier capturing a prisoner, captioned as "Private Rugby, Formerly of Yale." The overall page reflects early-WWI American popular attitudes: military enthusiasm, class-based humor, and rural stereotypes common to the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Jcua Dasters The Smallest Soldier By Vinctsta Woops Mackatt IV. Carry Ox! HEN drums are beating, I can tell Them far away, and listen well. And when they're louder, coming near, I fairly hold my breath to hear. But when they turn into my street, Why, then—I cannot stop my feet! onment on potato-bread and sawdust-sausage, and to be stoned once a month by five prison guards.” The storm of cheers which arose from the spectators at this richly deserved verdict was marred only by the hoarse protests of a Franco-Prussian War veteran, who demanded feverishly that the prisoner be bayoneted at sunrise in the most cruel and unusual manner possible. The Bounds of Modesty OXE cold night a Chicago- to-New-York sleeping car developed a hot-box. The porter went the rounds waking the passengers and telling them that it was necessary to change into another car. The manin lower six started to dress when he was suddenly taken with a great thought. “Porter!” he called. “Yes, suh,” the porter po- litely inclined his head toward the curtains of lower six. “Do we have to get off the train, or can we just walk through?” “What's that, suh?” The question was repeated, impatiently. “Oh, no, suh; no, suh; you just walk through to the next cah.” “Then I won't have to dress?” “Suh?” “Then I won't have to dress?” “Oh, no, suh; certainly not, suh. ...On’y just enough Drees by Rooxry Tnowsox A Mystery “*DEARS like there's something the matter with the new- comer that moved onto the old Newt Strodder place a spell ago,” stated Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., “but I don’t presizely know what it is. I was setting out yur on the porch tuther evening, when he stopped in front of the gate there and began to call me a blankity-blanked, slew-footed, lop-eared son-of-something-or-nuther, as nigh as I could make out. When a gent gets a talking that-a- way he gener’ly means something by it. My gun was kick- ing around in the house some’rs whur the baby had been playing with it, and I was tollable comf’able whur I was at, but, just the same, I was about at the p’int of hunting up my gun and taking a shot at him, when the children saved me the trouble. He was still mentioning what he considered I was but not telling why he thought so, when the whole four- teen of my young ’uns came tearing around the corner of the house with their hands and pockets full of rocks, and began pouring ‘em to him. Next minute he was climbing out of there as the crow flies with the rocks buzzing around him, and I never did find out what was the—yaw-w-w-wn!— matter with him.” Bad Opening Candidate—'Morning, Uncle Si. You know, I’m think- ing of running—— Uncle Si—Be ye? Ef I wuz your age an’ heft I’d make the Kaiser think 0’ runnin’! Asylum “Ah, so my patriotic song was partly responsible for your enlistment?” “Yes, I wanted to get away from hearing it.” to satisfy yo’self, suh. Private Rucpy, Formerty or Yae, Bacs His First Prisoner comicbooks.com