Judge — September 14, 1918 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Carvent Sarru . Apvice To CHAPERONS When it gets dark—use star shells filled with library paste; but library paste, no matter how much you have in your pockets, makes an unsub- stantial breakfast.” Do you? Yes, I wrote it. With my little idea. . ee the idea now—my Form? It’s almost finished, the inventing part. You have to really finish it— the reading part. Just change your thought tail-to- head, like sardines, as blue changes to green. Green grow the Of course I wouldn’t Isn’t_ it putting Yet you rushes, O, is a crude illustration. do anything as lumpy as that. you to sleep, like Coleridge’s Table Talk? must read on. Read on like playing dominoes, from 6:2 to 2:3. I suppose we all have more thoughts than we ever think of. Think of being an inch-worm, for instance, and having to measure a man 3,000 feet long. I long, often I long to know what snails think of, and bar tenders and three-legged stools and women when they are dancing with that lost, long-drowned expression. Do they realize the Infinite, d’you suppose? D’you suppose anyone in the world really understands what Duodecimals are? We are such hypocrites. Such as policemen who dye their mustaches and firemen who curl them. That is, if they do. Did you ever find a lost sneeze, ever in your life? The life and Letters of an Undertaker. (So hard for them ever to enter good society.) How one-eyed Cambodians Flirt, is another. Flirtation is to Love what a sky-rocket is to a ten-inch shell (if it is). Much more brilliant, and might get burned. What does “T don’t give a hang” mean? We use so many mean, mysterious things like that and how they get the -silver to stick on the backs of mirrors. An Up- right Egg, wild but winsome. Some are born with tortoise-shell goggles; some acquire tor- toise-shell goggles, and some have tortoise-shell goggles thrust upon them. ‘The ad- ventures of an Idea, in all Countries including the Scandinavian. You must not be too slow, the way bands play “The Star Spangled Banner” nor keep it up, as women do love, too long. I long, in fact, to stop, but I can’t—can you? Can you imagine the feelings of Q. Gormley in the Post Office, watching a strangely beautiful girl addressing a letter to him and sealing it with a kiss? The first thing Eve said after she was created was, “You're the the first’ man who has ever kissed me!”” W and Y. Why, yes, it’s easy—till you First you think your little Little ones are al- and sometimes try it—my new Form. thoughts, then write them down. ways hardest, like diamonds. A diamond on a fat man’s fing You can’t help reading, you know, and if you've read to here my Form is a success. What then? A remedy for insomnia? Read it with slow and stupid unction to your first husband. Or to your wife: she will say, “That man ought never to marry!” But still it takes skill to make Fudge. Few can tame flies. Be- Drown by Hasucron Witsases For tue Goop or THE SERVICE Diner—These portions are absurdly small of late, Louis! Head W Well, you see, sir, we have to hire such old waiters now, and they can’t handle heavy trays! comicbooks.com