Judge — September 14, 1918 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tent ad De eezes Military and Naval JUDGE Jupce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received But We'll Clean ‘Em Up e—You know why there is such a great short age of soap in Germany, don’t you? Naw, why? “Cause they do so m dirty work. A Choyce Bit By Liecresayt A. Newnenar Cx British Leicestershire Regiment, o EFORE the war, he was a specialist in the study of English at one of England's leading universities, and after being wounded in France last year while leading his men “over the top,” he came to the States on a special lecturing mission. One night he spoke in an out of the way village of Wyoming, a hundred miles from the railway to a delighted audience. He noticed a little girl about fourteen years old, sitting open-mouthed on the front row during the whole of his two-hour speech. Later, she came with the others to shake hands, “Lieutenant,” she said with a shy smile, “I could listen to you all night. do love to hear you speak your broken English.” Heard with His Eyes By Ror D. Paaxce, U.S. 8. Nakma Officer of Night Watch (to Lookout)—Say, Look- out! Lookout— Officer—Keep your eye open for a whistle. ? Very Simple Scene: Wireless room aboard a naval vessel. First Mate (to operator at desk)—What are you doing with that bottle? Operator—Making a little extra money, sir. First Mate—I don’t understand. Operator—Quite simple; collecting ether waves for the pharmacist’s mate! This Week's $5 Prize Winner Himself at Last By Prt. Gronak L. Se 2yth Hecey Artillery, FT. 4 SQUAD of rookies « but no one seemed t cer, who hap, hooting at a target rate o hw omen and His first sh ate Jones, A Mis two men, he said: third she “And is the way 1 shoot.” What is the Range? By Puvate Jouy L. Evnaxus, San. Squod, Camp Shelby, Misa Buck (to Supply Sergeant on being issued a hand ax)—Say, Serg., is that the only weapon we gonna get? Serg.—Sure. Buck—Well, can you beat that! Now I guess they gonna send us to the ax range for skirmishes. Well, 1’d certainly like to see how they manage an ax range! Serg. (gallantlyj—Allow me to be the first to show you. (He leads the astonished buck to the woodpile.) That, my boy, is the ax range. Now you skirmish here for two hours. 2, 113 San.Train, Artificial Weather Drawn by Per. Mitt Goss, Co. F., 64th Infantry, A. EB. F Captain Growcho—Well, I don't suppose we can take “em out to drill in this sort of weather at that! Beaned by the Beaner Drown by WN. Be Al—What is the matte Tex—I told de cook beans were rotten! sted Effort attery F, 59th ARCA. SE having just arrived at a new camp near the front in France, set out to “see the town” and get a “feed.” After a few hours’ walking and many attempts to make someone understand that he was hung he returned to camp tired and disgusted. A sign “Canteen” at the edge of the camp caught his eye and he decided to make one dying effort to make someone “get him.” He entered and walked to the counter with a hesitating step. Seeing bread and meat on the shelf he pointed to them and started a series of motions with his hands, clapping them together The young lady attendant watched him with a surprised and puzzled look for a few minutes, and finally said with a laugh: “Oh, I guess it is a ham sandwich you want.” She was an American Red Cross Girl. MELE Sudden Glory By Avowrn Srrnuax, Co. D, 20th Inf. Camp Funston, Kansas A company of infantry sent their laundry to the camp laundry and when it was returned, through an error, the first sergeant’s shirt was put in a young Jewish recruit’s bundle. Upon opening it, the recruit exclaimed: “Look, look, the laundry has made me a top sergeant!" Military Force of Habit By Paivare A. Newaas, 111th Aero (Service) Squadron, Cor strom Field, Areadia, Fla He held her tightly in his khaki-clad arms till she wondered at his silence and gently murmured: “Do you love me, my hero?” “Yes,” he sighed. “Yes, what?” she softly queried. “Yes, sir.” And then he knew his foot had slipped! comicbooks.com Youn Jo And, so He'd to Guide Eserybo gun as. When y bell S Jone He k He prac Until So now While liyouh ing And | eryboc its gun ass When ye bell hour and thre sleet Thave a