Judge — September 14, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Unwept, Unhonored, and Unsung Something to the Kaiser’s Credit at Last!—Bystander (London). ABSENT-MINDED Brutality—‘“ The professor is absent- minded. Why don’t you tell him that he is walking around ina revolving door?” “Let him walk around for a half-hour. He needs exercise.""—Louisville Courier- Journal. His Delusion—Prof. X is as absent- minded as they make ’em. He and his wife were going to the theater, and as the time approached she said, “I don’t like that tie you have on, dear. I wish you would go up and put on another.” The professor, his mind busy with some problem of the day, started off upstairs. Ten minutes later when he failed to appear his wife went in search of him. She found him in his room, un- dressed and just getting into bed. The act of taking off his tie had caused him, in his absent-mindedness, to think he was retiring for the night.—Detroit Free Press. His Limp—The professor was walking down the street when accidentally he al- lowed one foot to drop in the dry gutter. Thinking deeply on some obscure subject, he unconsciously continued walking with one foot on the sidewalk and the other in the gutter. A friend, seeing him, stopped and said: “Good morning, professor. you feeling this morning?” “Well,” said the professor, “when I left home this morning I was feeling quite all right, but during the last few minutes I notice I have a limp in my left leg.”— London Tit-Bits. How are Patriotism Not Involved Le. Leper = “Monsieur peut le manger sans hésitation, puisque ce n'est pas jour sans ciande”” “You can eat it without hesitation, sir; this isn't’ meatless day.”"—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). Not the Answer Expected—The school examiner was putting the children through their paces. His immediate sub- ject was geography. Standing in the mii dle of the platform, he said: “We will suppose that this whole school is com- posed of water and I am an island—now what island would I represent?” “The Isle of Man,” came a quick reply. Then, calling the bright pupil to his side, he asked again, “Now suppose we both stood together like this, what islands would we represent?” “The Scilly Islands, sir,” came the answer in a loud tone.—Boston Tran- script. Sabbath Observance—Marion, aged five, in a room alone, was suspiciously quiet one Sunday morning. Her mother called, “What are you doing, Marion?” “Just playing, mamma,” she answered. Her mother, who belongs to the old- fashioned school, said, “Don’t you know it is wrong to play on Sunday?” Quick as a flash from the modern five- year-old came: “But, mamma, I’m playing it’s Tuesday.”—Harper’s Maga- sine. comicbooks.com