Judge — September 7, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

lA Digeut of the Worldir Hanor The Wittiest Thoughts from the Prightest Minds Spas vom ee ee Ps eee MAN | MERE In No Danger—IIife—The fact that there are germs on money doesn’t worry me. Hub—No, my dear. It would take a pretty active germ to hop from the money to you, during the brief time you have it. Boston Transcript Making Sure of Heaven—“So your husband has started going to church?” “Yes. He says he wants to make sure that he won't have to associate with Germans cither here or in the hereafter.” Detroit Free Press. Meatless, but Not Heatless, Day ir, but you'd better hurry atin this hot weather bath fish won't last more than five minutes longe L' Illustration (Paris). The Laborer Worthy of Her Hire— The members of the missionary society had assembled to turn in their money, and to relate the difficult and amusing experi- ences in earning, each, her dollar. “Sister Lamm, how did you earn your dollar?” asked the chairman. “T got it from my husband,” replied the good sister, tendering her mon “Oh, but that is not earning it,” re- ted another sister. 0?” asked Mrs. Lamm. don’t’ know my husband.” Magazine. “Then you —Harper’s More Optimism *Arry (anxiously) new star'll dred years o: smithereens! Bill (chi 1) —Good! this blinkin’ war, any’ow don) “it the earth in five 0 an’ knock everythink into It'll put a stop to Bystander (Lon- Her Yearning—“I know where I could get a couple of tolerably fair hus- bands,” sighed the Widow, “but what I’ve always really wanted is a white velvet opera cloak.” —iVashington Star. Oh!—Iead of the house (roaring with rage)—Who told you to put that paper on the wall? Decorator—Y our wife, sir. Head of the house (subsiding)—Pretty, isn’t it?—London Tit-Bits. The Shortage of Matches “Vite, Polycarpe, viens allumer ta pipe, il y ala feu chez les viosins.” “Quick, Polycarpe, run light your pipe! ‘The house next door is on fire.”"—Le Péle- Méle (Paris) Tt says ‘ere, Bill, as this “MARRIAGE Hard Life—“I felt so sorry for the groom. He looked awfully haggard and careworn. Do you suppose he real ized when it was too late that he was making a mistake?” No; he didn’t realize anything. He was just suffering the penalty of having a lot of friends who thought it their duty to stay up with him during his last night asa bachelor.” —Dayton News Easier—Mrs. Scenick—Suppose I should conclude to publish your lowe letters? Mr. Scenick—Why not simply make a public acknowledgment that you married an idiot?—Club Fellow. dnexhaustible Supply Available “Moi, madame, qui azais causé acec Américain. .si gentil. .et le lendemain il qu Paris.” “Ne rows désoles pas, Philo r dexactement semblables tous les “Oh, my! I met an American soldier—the nicest fellow—and next day he left Paris!” “Don’t worry, my dear. Others ex like him will be ‘arriving every day.” lustration (Pe Profound Respect for It—"“We are ining my spinster sister at our ” remarked the Old Scout. “I took her to a picture show last evening and during the marriage scene I noticed that she still rises and stands during the playing of the wedding march from Lo- hengrin.”"—Detroit News. (Continued on Third Following Page) comicbooks.com