Judge — September 7, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eS TSE A ws, An = ‘RDITORDIAL Comment Grave aud Gay on Things as They Pass or Tne New Direromacy HE Brown University Fellows declare that Bernstorff’s conduct was “dishonorable alike in a gentleman and a diplomat.” We may acquit them of a sardonic humor which would imply that he couldn’t be both. Neverthe- ss their language vividly recalls a Gridiron Club epi- fe of the days when Wu Ting Fang was in Washing- Hed u to speak, Dr. Wu began by saying “Mr. Toastmaster, members of the Gridiron Club, and gentlemen.” Quick as a flash, Tom Reed, who had been fero- ciously heckled by the Gridironers, exclaimed: ‘Our Chinese friend hasn't been in this country very long, but he has been here long enough to know the difference between members of the Gridiron Club and gentlemen!” When Divine Right ruled a nation it was the pre- sumed divine purpose that that nation should betray and befool and exploit the other nations. So Divine Right surrounded itself with the Talleyrands and the Metternichs, the diplomacy trained to lie and cheat and defraud He who hires a man to steal for him hires a man to steal fror him, and he who has a diplomat to lie for him has a diplomat to lie to him. The sceptered scoun- drel who used these trained liars to fool his neighbors was apt to be the first and worst fooled That was the one redeeming f ture about the system. When the nation began to realize that the ruler who’ ex- ploits other peoples will exploit his own people the world democ- racy began to be born and king- craft and its scrap-of-paper diplo- macy began to die America has no trained diplo- macy. We play the game with all our cards face up on the table. The old world governing class, up to very lately, has felt about its diplomats as Mark Twain’s Arab felt about his son when he recom- mended him to a prospective em- ployer as a “most accomplished liar. Kaiser Bill despised us for our candor and he believed that to ‘ outwit and despoil us would be ras by E. W. Keuote like “taking the money from the A Kutturep Germ-Hun ee mee nee er baby’s bag That was Kaiser Bill’s mistake—one of his many mistakes which will cost Germany far more than the loss of its dream of world empire. Even now, in this hideous nightmare of world war, we are not far from the dawn. We are not so remote as we seem to be from Tennyson's Parliament of Man and Federation of the World. In that new world you couldn’t carry on the old scrap-of-paper diplomacy be- cause you would have to fool not merely the kings but the nations—and Lincoln never said a truer thing than that “you can’t fool all the people all the tim The new diplomacy will be our old diplomacy. The by-and-by Bernstorff will be a gentleman and a dip! mat or he won't be either. Sixes anp SEVE Emperor Charles eats out of the Kaiser’s hand. We'll bet he would rather Hooverize. . ° . Barbers who propose a 40 percent increase in the cost of hair-cuts are taking a chance. The women have discovered that they can get the vote without wearing short hai Congress proposes to levy a tax on luxuries high enough to prohibit their use but low enough to yield a big revenue. Now we do wish Congress would tell us how old is Ann. . . . King George pitched the first ball in the American Soldiers’ Fourth of July game in London That man can’t help being a good fellow in spite of the handicap of royal birth. + * * This country’s amazing finan- cial resources are proved not so much in the fact that our million- aires have to borrow the money to pay their war taxes as in the fact that they can find somebody who can lend it to them. . . . When a pretty near American politician runs for re-election in a pretty near American dis- trict. and suddenly discovers that his district is wholly so —why, that’s pretty near poetic justice! comicbooks.com