Judge — August 24, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

noon? . . . Well, will you please find that only a month in the Adirondacks will save my life? . . . That’s right. . . . Bea dear and do as I ask. . . . You'll see? . . Of course this consultation is confidential and you are to send the bill for it to me, not to my husband... . Good-by.” At the conclusion of his brief visit, Dr. Poudreple wrote a prescription, handed it to Flossie Van Idyll and rose to depart. Reginald accompanied him to the door. In the reception hall Reginald drdoped his left eyelid in a deliberate and significant wink, which Dr. Poudreple answered in kind. They shook hands. Returning to the bedroom, Reginald Van Idyll found his wife sitting straight up in bed. Her countenance + was crimso} f “Listen,” gq she shrilled, and read Dr. Poudreple’s prescription. . “* Avoid the bad air of department stores. . . . Eat less rich food. . . . Abstain from travel or change of . scene.’” ‘aj “Reginald,” charged Flossie Van Idyll, in a voice broken by anger, “did you b-bribe that—that wretchto } keep me at home?” “Certainly not,” lied Reginald, counterfeiting hurt surprise. “Why? Did youbribe him to order you away?” Freedom: dy highway, near and far. While I have coin to buy the gas, it’s no one’s business where I pass. San Francisco's storied bay t far New York I take my w unless I make the speed laws sick, or kill a hen or horse or hick, no delegate will seek to know from whence I came, or where I go. It’s no one’s business where I trek, if I don’t pass a phony check, or jump a board bill here and there; I am as free as summer air. But when the Kaiser rules this land, at every turn a cop will stand; and he will make me stop my car, and ask me where my pass- ports are; then my excuses won't avail, and he will pack me off to jail. And I'll be fined a thousand bones, and spend a lifetime break- ing stones, It isn’t strange that I WIND the mainspring of my car, and hit the From Drawn by E. Frowes A “Ssireace” Circus Entertains tue Boys at Camp Pep “Uncle” Walt’s Exclusice Weekly Message to Judge of all I see. Inevitable By Exuts 0. Joxes DP a word, to return to the status quo ante involves so much more than a mere question of boundary lines that the human mind can not begin to comprehend it. Should any statesman seriously undertake it, our admiration for his courage would be adulterated by grave doubts as to his sanity. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a big fall; All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn't restore Humpty Dumpty To the status quo ante again. A Versatile Bard The tendency of women’s clubs to broaden their interests is illustrated by an item from a Kansas country newspaper, announcing a meeting of the Browning Club. “The Ladies’ Browning Club will meet Tuesday afternoon with Mrs. Helen Van Zandt,” wrote the editor. ‘The following subjects will be discussed: The History of Venice, The Presi- dent of Venezuela, How to Attract the Birds, New Uses of Tapioca, The City of Havana, School Gardening, and A Health- ful Diet for Baby. Walt Mason The servants chase along the halls to bring me smokes and and codfish balls. Nobody asks my granny’s name, or tries to figure out my game. But when the Kaiser’s ruling here, life won’t be such a treat, I fear. When to a tavern I repair I'll have to give my record there; I'll have to tell how many times I’ve been locked up for noxious crimes; why I have followed devi- ous ways, and left my home be- tween two days. They'll measure me and snap my face, and maybe run me from the place. They'll go through all my grips and bags, and search the pockets of my rags, and lead me down a darkened hall, and back me up against a wall, and shoot me full of slugs of lead, and keep on shooting till I’m dead. For that’s the way the Teutons do, if tales of travelers get mad when thinking of that Kaiser lad. I seek a promising hotel, and write my name down like a swell. And all the people treat me fine; the whole blamed hostelry is mine. While I have got the price with me I am the boss buy a thrift stamp and a bond! “Axo He Witt Make Me Stop My Car, axp Ask Me Wuexe My Passports Are” some more. Of course I'd gladly bleed and die, like any patriotic guy; but I’d go further and beyond—I'd are true. To keep the Kaiser from this shore I’d do a lot, and then comicbooks.com