Judge — August 24, 1918 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

3 = anaes Get Seneee Bo merrerrs “é ) SBP Ss Foie .* Seva.* What Is the Name, Again? By Georce Cecit Cowinc OW do you spell your H name?’ demanded Parker J. Kindray of his chance acquaintance on the train. “Just the way it is pro- nounced,” vouchsafed the other. “Pepperhill. Horace T. Pepperhill.” “IT always like to get names correct,” explained Kindray. here’s alto- gether too much carelessness about names. I often wonder how some business institu- tions and individuals get through life, the way they ball such things up.” “Take my own experi- ences,” he continued. ‘* Now I suppose I’ve paid hundreds of dollars to the laundry that does my work, yet they always send packages and statements addressed to Porter L. Kindley, or P. D. Drate Kennedy or something like that.” “Why don’t you change laundries? Pepperhill. “T've tried that,” replied Mr. Kindray in a discour- aged tone, “but it made no difference. dry was just as bad. I’d merely be billed as Peter R. Kindling. “People talk about newspaper reporters get- ting names twisted! They aren’t in it for a minute with the business world. Mind you, I hold no brief for newspaper re- porters. They have plen- ty to answer for—split infinitives, dandruff, the match-borrowing _ habit and all that—but I must say for them that when it comes to fumbling names and initials, the average business house or public office has them beat fifty ways from the proverbial Sunday. 5 “ Now there’s the city light and water depart- ment in our town. They make you sign a dozen or more applications, affi- davits, writs of riparian rights and what not be- fore they give you a speck of service. Half a dozen clerks ask you The other laun- A. B. Warker Tue Censor dog. Thear is a lot of kumfort- but on the whole I have found that thear is gennerally moar kussedness in a dogz owner than thear is in the U treet a dog well and hez good 2 U. Awl he ” suggested Mr. will do is to steel the Sunday roast and chew up your all that, with your correct John Hancock before them on all these statistics and formule, they address you on post-card duns as Pattie D. Kendall. I tell you, my dear Whipperwill sting!” “You're dead right, Mc- Kinle: rejoined the other hearti Josh Billings, Jr., on “Dogz” By Lewis Atten Browne N I littul sun haz a dog. 2 B moar korrect I shuld say he had a dog whitch he naimed “Bill,” but he waz sertinly preemer- chewer B caws Bill he up and had a littur of puppez; now mi sunz dog Bill is cawled Dazy and his dog is now dogz. and kussidness—in a dog, best bootz and git hares on yoar cloes, whitch ain't so sent. point-blank what your Drawn by Cuestex L. Ganoe nameis. And then, after Hor Scotcu wiked as it mite B. U may be shooer yoar dog will not li 2 U, he will not talk B hind your bak and he will not cheet U out of one My littul sun kan have moar fun with his dog Dazy (formurly Bill) than aritch boy kan git out of won (1) thousund dolars worth of toyz. Aftur awl, thears lotz of wors things than dogz and a man who luvz dogz iz genner- ally a man U kan trust, whitch is a ‘rare thing these day: Horse and Horse “7 CAN make my children mind tollably well when I've got a club and can cor- ner em in the house,” con- fessed Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “But they sorter have the boolge on me out o’ doors whur they can get hold of rocks and have plenty of room to run in.” Utility . A family with an artistic temperament isn’t really as much of an addition to a neighborhood as a family owning a step- ladder. comicbooks.com