Judge — August 17, 1918 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jupce A Quiet Day By Masow D. Cuevenaxn Restsey, Junior Military Aviator ITTLE Johnny R. M. A. up in a scout ’steen thousand feet or more, the lights went out. Plugs got sooted—the valves they stuck. Johnny did a loop or two before he mussed up. His motor vibrated the stays intwo. Bang went a con- A biplane sighted this Up came a Hun with dirt to do. necting rod, up he blew! John y. too, The archies sputtered, the Hun he flew—but lil’ ol’ Johnny could play dirt, too! A. tail-spin slide-slip do-se-do! Look out for Frit before you go! Rat-a-tat-tat-a-tat, rat-a-ta-ta-oh, you doicher, tra-la-la-la! The wings they parted, the tail it ripped, the motor stalled, and he did a flip. Gas ignited, crank burst, lil’ ol” B) Johnny piped “ Not so worse!” He followed him down to No Man’s Land and got right out to beat the band. Back to the hangar he zoomed his way —the angels accompanied him, so they say Radiator patched with chewing gum, tape on the leads to hold her plumb. Wouldn't give a nickel couldn't give a dime—to patch her up for an other climb. But orders are orders, so Johnny knows. Along comes another Hun, and up he goes! So it is—from day to day, till the doichers go to Hades, and pay their way. case Striving for Interchangeability By Pavate Joux D. Garene, Co. 11, Batt, 15, Camp Greenteof M0. T.C A long, Iean, harrow-shouldered Yank was struggling, sweating and cussing while performing « his duty as third-assistant to a second-rate car- » penter. A lieutenant watched the well-meaning but sadly inefficient Sammie for several minutes. } “What is your occupa- # tion?” he asked BH “Accountant, sir,” re- fs plied the Samm ry Aren't there any car- #) penters in your company?” P asked the lieutenant p “Yes, sir, we have one,” §) wearily replied the soldier =, “but he’s busy in the com- 1} pany office doping out the i 1 pay-roll.”” i i No Scotsman, He } By Curr Desrser, Trench Mortar attery, Anniston, Ala Captain (conc t ting set- =, ting-up exercises) —Grady, 1 ’, s what’s the matter with you? b 2 Private Grady—Sure, sir, } 1 can stand anything but s this blooming Highland 74, Gop | fling. for publication, and each « Drawn by Sam Resseat, Recruiting Offeer, dare. U. Isn’t the ocean blue this morning? The Leatherneck—Well if you had been around Paris Island as long as the ocean has, you would be blue too. Periscopical Drawn by Pvr, Doc Rawxtx, Gas Def. Ser, LL. City, N.Y. A Navy Rookie’s Dream the First This Week's $5 Prize Winner His Sublime Status By Couronne R. V. NEGRO Bucnen, Signal Corps, Somewhere in one of the stevedore regiments at a in France, sax an officer approach- chile patrolling ‘Ris beat on sentry du ¢ drew himself up stiffly and gave a flouri ing salute, saying. “Good morning, General!” “But I'm not a General,” rejoined the & here, man, I'm only a captain,” eas T knew you tous one of de face cards ob a a confiding grin eezes Military and Naval pays $1 cach for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted $5 is awarded for the best original joke received out at Sea. ‘S. Marine Corps, Washington, D.( Sixteen (Count 'Em) Sixteen By Comroust Law Wiad Amo Mixon € . American 1. Lat Battal ry Forces, Fra: nour, ¢ Ez pedit IXTEEN ships from Yankee land—hear the Kaiser swear! Think that clown will send us down? should care! On our way to “close the sI From east and west, will do their best to get the Kaiser's goat Let him sing his hymn of hate Let his subs sink all these tubs; we have plenty mo: Waiting for the word to sail, champing at the bit, Quite a job to stop this mob. Let him tackle it! Pifle! We »w""; men on every boat, it’s been sung before; Sixteen ships from Yankee land—hear the Kaiser whine! On we come to chase that bum clear across the Rhine. Are we stopped by frightfulness? Are we weak or faint? Are we worried, scared, or flurried? I should say we ain't This is what we waited for, worked at, prayed and cried- Just a chance to sail to France and tan the Kaiser's hide. Count ‘em: Sixteen loaded ships on the Kaiser's track He a hunch: Just watchthis bunch, sixteen coming back! Where He Belonged Ry Cartas Auies J. Rooorns, Co. B, tat Bn. 1634 Depot Brigade, An officer was filling out the Personnel Card of a recruit from western Minnesota. In reply to the question, “ What branch of the service do you prefer,” he got this answer. “I don’t know much about the army, but my father told me he thought 1 ought to get in the Heavy Artillery; but I don’t know whether Iam heavy enough or not, 1 only weigh about 150 pounds.” They placed him in the Quarter- masters Corps. Introducing Himself peaNtT Mraus L. Seprn th Bo. tt Brig. Fo AR. D. One night, shortly after a large contingent of negroes had arrived at Camp Dodge from a Southern state, a colored lad upon his return to camp froma visit to Des Moines was halted by a sentry. “Halt! Who is there?” challenged the sentinel in the usual commanding oNGee 4 ” answered the much frightened Rastus, meekly. comicbooks.com