Judge — August 10, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a Ns ee. i os A > et OO Ee )=6— Ee ———a a! Do You Drum Wet? POMPO! ndividual said to another man: “My father was a general in the Civil War, but your father was only a drummer.” “Well,” said the other man, “didn’t he drum well?” \ stranger entered a cathedral one day and humbly i leave to play on the great organ. The organist indignantly refused, but finally the stranger’s impor- tunity forced his grudging assent. Then,as the heavenly music welled forth from the organ under the magic of the stranger's touch, the organist wonderingly ex- claimed: ‘“*Who are you, man? Are you Mendels- sohn “Yes, I am Mendelssohn,” the stranger replie One in a million of us may be a Mendelssohn. Itis a tragedy, an inestimable loss to mankind, if possessing the most marvelous of gifts he misuses them to fill the world with discord—if able to feed himself and his fellows with the ambrosia of the gods he craves. The husks the swine do feed upon. Few men are born into the world without the ability to do something. It may be a humble something, but it is something, and the doing of it or the slighting of it spells the difference between the man and the slacker. Just our little bit done well by each of us every day will make this old world a better and a happier place to live in, and this old world never needed our bit from every one of us more than it needs it today. He is a defaulter who can be a Mendelssohn but won't; he is a worse defaulter who can drum well but won’t, for there are so many, many millions more of him. Do you drum well? Parts oF SPEECH HEN the downfall of the Romanoffs was flashed upon the bulletin boards a man stood before one of them while painfully and laboriously he spelled out the word “ab- dicates.”” Then turning to his neighbor, he said: “ What does that mean?” “Tt means that the Czar beat it,” the neighbor replied. ‘Then why doesn’t it say so?” he demanded. Why don’t they say so? We are prone to complain of our writers and our publicists—es- a OO re FDITORIAL | Comment Grave and Gay on Things as They Pass —— ny ver forward must be our watchword.” \ = pecially if they be ‘‘college highbrows”—that they “don’t talk United States.” Yet the fact remains that of the two American Presi- dents in our time who have had telepathic insight into the popular mind and purpose, the two who can tell what the people think and tell the people what to think, one is a college professor, the other is a college man, and both of them are of that despised guild which Simon Cameron called “them littery fellers.” Sometimes a Billy Sunday may use the vernacular plentifully interspersed with slang and impress some of us profoundly. Sometimes—not always. We don't like the man who talks over our heads, but we are apt to like still less the man who talks down to us. Stxes AND SEVENS HE proposals that the Republicans and Democrats should nominate the same man for Congress mostly pan out like the baby whose mother remarked: “He's half yours, isn’t he?” “Well,” said the awful dad, “rock your half and let my half holler.” * * A man never subjected to temptation must wonder whether it is a boost for his integrity or a knock for his insignificance. . 4 ° First Assistant Secretary Crowell is fussed over what to do about the lost motion in the War Depart- ment. Anybody on the Senate Military Affairs Com- mittee could tell him that what you do is to table the lost motion and proceed with the regular order. 8 6 Now it is a minimum of beef Mr. Hoover wants us to cat. If this keeps on, it’s up to somebody to raise a bumper crop of mini- mums. . 6 « Henry Ford says: “I ama Re- ublican and I didn’t want war. We have a Democrat for President and we have war and I am for both.” For both, Henry, plus a little more gasoline in the tank of the war “flivver!”” . * We can’t help thinking Sec- retary Baker would have known more about the war when he came back from France if he had thought to take Colonel From the German. House over there with him. comicbooks.com