Judge — August 3, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 {TIE ene Ta nee evs ee = Ss 7 its | ODD NOTIONS “I'd like to join Appropriate Plan an economical alimony club.” ‘or what purpose?” husband my means.” -Brooklyn Citizen Pop's Answer—“Pop, what are the silent watches of the night?” "They are the ones which their owners forgot to wind, son.” —Baltimore Ameri- can. Distinguishing Mark—"This check is doubtless all right.” said the bank cashier politely. “but have you anything about you that would serve to identify you?” “T have a mole on my left elbow,” fal- tered the pretty girl ansas City Journal. Not Forever—" A thing of beauty is a joy forever,” quoted the Parlor Philoso- pher “Yes; or at least till she gets old.” added the Mere Man.—Tewn Topics Name for Him—*I think I should have named my boy ‘Flannel,’ said Mrs. Binks. “Why?” asked Miss Jinks. nswered Mrs. Binks, “he -People's Home “ Because. shrinks from washing.” Journal Say, wait feel terribly er Right Before His father (showing t's all right, my boy! tail-spin, and ya plus que tune descente I'm beginning to Just three through!"—La Baionnette Eyes —Arcrage drawings) his prodig: Would you believe that he never took a lesson in his life? Art editor—S Salo Express. Afterthoughts tanto disprezzo! ceing is believing. —Buf- The Russian (noting the results of German rule)—Gosh, I wish I had that gun I threw away!—II 420 (Florence). Awful Suggestion—Two ladies were married to musicians. The one, a bride of a year, was pushing a baby carriage in which were three fine babie riplets, all girls. The other lady had beén in the bonds of matrimony a couple of weeks: “What beautiful children!” exclaimed the newly married one. “Yes,” replied the proud mother; “let me tell you the funniest coincidence. At our wedding supper the boys who played with my husband in the orchestra sere- naded him and they played ‘Three Little Maids’ from the ‘The Mikado.’ Isn't that queer?” At this the other bride turned pale. “Mercy,” she gasped. “At our wed- ding supper Tom’s friends serenaded him also, and they rendered ‘The Sextet,” from ‘Lucia.’ —Roller Monthly. An Enormous Bill—‘'I was in the dentist’s anteroom while you were being treated today.” “You were? robber charged me? “No, I don’t know how much it was, but I heard you scream.”’—Houston Post. you know what that Smart—Nell—What would. you give to have such hair as mine? Balle—1 don’t. know—what did you give?—Boston Transcript. Medical Term—“You must isolate the patient.” Il right, doctor; where shall we put the ice?” —Baltimore American. Thinking Is Such a Bore—“ Do you suppose Reggie ever thinks of marrying?” “Oh, I fancy he has his man attend to all that.” —Boston, Transcript. WAR JESTS A Vacancy—*'I know of one who won't be able to take her husband's place while he is away at war.” “Speak on. What was he doing when called to the colors: “He was lifting a horse by his teeth and performing other feats of strength in vaudeville.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. husband She Knew Her Neighbors—AMrs. Flatbush—So you've lost your cook? Mrs. Bensonhurst—Yes; she’s gone to work in a munition plant. “More wages, I suppose?” “Oh, yes; but wouldn't you think 'd be afraid of being blown up?” She's used to that.” —Yonkers States- man. sh comicbooks.com