Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ich he ull ter ler ere nly nd nd hat the red led eat ca niz! pop Pre His Worp Is More Bixpinc Tuan tue Ancient Mosaic Law Rookie Realisms By Privare Cuesrer W. Suarer, Ambulance 330, 310th Sanitary Train ROM the viewpoint of the up-to-date philatelist, who devotes most of his time during the week to the collec- tion of thrift stamps and runs down to a nearby cantonment on Sundays to visit friends, a brigadier general looks like the most commanding figure inside the grounds. To him it seems that any officer who can wear two stars on his shoulder and ride about on a that is tailored to the measure of both and his horse, is the preeminent clinker y circle. But to the man on the teger of the equation—who fully appreciates the width of the abyss that separates a hike in the army from a constitu- tional walk, the appearance diffe To him the most powerful and the most noticeable figure in the life is that of the Mess Sergean! Considered from the standpoint of recognized and established authority, he is eligible to wear at least ten hanks of braid on either arm and jounce the firmament to death in the matter of stars. He is an acute and visible powe ning with more majesty than a king with a purple robe, a scepter studded with horse- chestnuts and seventeen morganatic wives. He rules the mess-room with an iron hand and a strident voice. His word is more binding than the ancient Mosaic law, and when he issues an ultimatum it goes as it is writ. There is no more chance for a correction than there was back in the days when the versatile writers did their best work on a piece of flint. His say is so. The Mess Sergeant outlines the feeding poli- cies of the company, dictates the menu and keeps tab on the bills payable and bills receiv- ible. He is directly responsible for a distrac- tion, thrice daily, which he humorously dedi- cates to the memory of Epicurus. In this nalignant work he does more to profane the heories of this far-visioned Greck than can be readily imagined. If Epic is in any position, at this time, to learn of these goings-on, he'll € application at once for a permanent pass with privilege of visiting all the cantonments and Vi. Ilustrated by Avert Leverinc THE MESS SERGEANT—AS HE doing some wholesale ha’nting. It is a whole- some and colossal cinch that he'll never forgive the travesty. It is up to the Mess Sergeant, at all times, to get inside the rations. This ration is the amount allotted by the Government for the ily food of the soldier. In this work he gets under the limit as easily as a small boy under the big top at the circus. It makes no differ- ence to him if the tables don’t groan under the weight of the victuals. Just as long as he can show a healthy surplus to mess officer at the end of every month he’s All Jake. He may rehash his entrees frequently and tack an alluring name to a conglomeration of accumu- lated scrap, but he goes over on the right side. He Rures Witn an Iron Hann ano a Stripent Voice IS MALIGNED Indirectly he hears words of discontent and dis- satisfaction. But he never is openly chal- lenged. And with the smug security of his vested authority he lolls back serenely and dis- misses all qualms. The Mess Sergeant has one command that he is peculiarly proud of —Be Seated.” He uses it three times a day and he can get more min- gled force, pathos, sternne: i und enthu- sm in it than Bryan injected into “The Cross of Gol He prepares for this by di- recting the bugler to blow the usual mess call. At this there is a general response from all parts of the barracks and the soldiers file into the mess hall prepared for their duties. As they arrive at their places they come to attention. And they hold this attention until the big order comes. At times the wolves become impatient. Or they may be boisterous or exhuberant (such instances are rare). But any undue noise only serves to delay the soup. The Mess Sergeant, with his stoniest expression, waits always until everything is quiet. Then, when he thinks the psychological time has arrived, he sends the order bellowing down to history and the men begin the application of their theories of pre- hension. After this, during the meal, he main- tains a dignified demeanor, watches the distri- bution of the food and acts as arbiter in any quarrels that may arise over the possession of a fragment of meat or an odd piece of cake. Following the mess he supervises the work of cleaning up and goes into retirement. He watches the garbage cans, buys the stores, fights with the quartermaster, holds a daily reception for salesmen and the key to the store- room. He also puts the right sort of fear into the heart of the cook. Aside from these duties he exercises a remarkable control over his emotions. Seldom, if ever, does he break down when he accepts his 7 once a month. Inwardly he may feel that Ali Baba and Jesse James were overestimated, and his hand may be cold and trembling when he extends it, but he is always comicbooks.com