Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What the Stars Meant Ry S.J. Coxntts, U. 8. 8. Alabam QUARTERMAS was hoisting the ad- miral’s flag, and having secured it was turning away, when a new man who had been watching him said: “Say, Jack, what's the two stars mean in that flag? The “old timer,” after sizing him up, said: “Son, that flag is for two sailors who left this ship and joined the army. It’s our service flag.” He Wanted to Look Nice By Coupons S.C. Sawerta, Bat C, 126th FA New recruit (to major)—When do we have army uniforms issued to us? Major—VYou will get them in a few days. In the meantime, wear your civilian clothing; it will give you a chance to wear it out. New recruit—Yes, sir, but 1 wanted to keep these clothes clean and in good shape for Sundays and evenings. Practical Minded By Pavers Henacat SM 2, Sd Receiving Co, Camp Je a “The sergeant asked for suggestions where to take refuge in case of an air raid while in the city.” “[ suppose some of theanswers were ridiculous.” “Oh, I don’t know—the Camp Librarian sug- gested that they use one of the best cellars.” Simplicity By Pars ate Hexner G, Movenee, Officer of Guard stops night watchman and in- spects his cdub—My man, don’t you think there is too much lead in the end of this club? Night watchm ‘No, sir, do not, for when I hit anyone with it I only intend to hit him once; if he doesn’t drop, I generally walk around him to see what's propping him up. Service Co., Signal Corps The Investigation By Pare are Hesay 8. Wanna, Co. C, dd Ba. 00th Engineers “What was your object in making this raid?” asked the officer of the German captain. “We had heard that there were Americans here and we were ordered to find out.” “And——?” “We found out.” What He Meant, He Said By Parvare Wa. C. Hon Yh Co, 184th Depot Brigade, Camp Funston, Ka Two colored recruits from Mississippi were getting out of their bunks the morning following their third inoculation, when one of them said: “ Ah feels like forty cents dis mawnin’,” ‘The other one replied: “Sambo, you mean thirty cents, don’t you?” “No, sah, I means forty cents never leave off dat wah tax.” Niggah, don’t eezes Military aud Naval Juvce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received That Dear Old Word ove oF ic YOu Drawn by Currox J. Dow, U.S. 8. Idaho A Marine Artist This Week's $5 Prize Winner A New Insignia By Prt. R. W. Truex, Photo D Senceast—Ie lir Service Il you men ou men here other side of ur heads norning and turn on him Voice Frost tHe Raxxs ki Ul see him! Drawn by Pvt. Inv. J. Rarsay When the Marine Corps Eagle Rises! His Nearest Relation Ry Puvate Writs P. Youxo, Medical Department, Camp Stuart, Va A darky who was inflicted with a minor injury was being admitted to the hospital and was answering questions to fill out his clinical record. Orderly—What’s your religion? Darky—Missionary Baptist. Ordei!y—Who is your nearest relative? Darky—Father. Orderly—What’s his name? Darky—Thomas Jefferson. Orderly—Where does he live? Darky—Man, he doan live—he’s plum daid! One on the Captain By Patvare Wavtnnor 5. 8. School of Aviation, Riek Ficid, Tezas It was a bright morning—just the kind for the solo-birds to take the ship up alone with full confidence in themselves. A few minutes after the command was given by the flight com! er to soar above and take their daily flight they were all in the air circling around the field. Suddenly the flight commander shouted above the roar and din of the powerful engines: there! d those glasscs here! What the ding-dong is tha fellow trying to pull off, anyway? If I get the number of his ship, I'll jump on his neck!” All heads turned skywards as the F. C. peered through the binoculars. Suddenly he handed back the glasses, remarking as he did so: “Great day for solo-work all right, if it don’t get bumpy. A mechanic grabbed the binocs and took squint at the azure and remarked: “Gee whiz! Just look at that Texas buzzard doing the loop the loop and tail-spins and e' thing!” Where- upon everyone grinned but said nothing. He Got off Easy By Puivate J. Tex Buock, 329th Ambulance Co, 310th Sanitary rain, Camp Custer, Mick A rookie of some two or three weeks’ standing had been given a pass home. On his return to camp he was much dismayed to find that it was 12 p.m. His pass stated very definitely 11 p. m. When he finally reached the barracks his bunk mate asked him where he got the beautifully decorated eye. “Well,” he said, “as I came up to the entrance to the camp the guard yelled, ‘Halt! Who goes there?’ I'd overstayed my pass a little, so I did some quick thinking and thought a little camouflage might get me by, so I replied: ‘General Pershing.’ I hadn't any more than said it when ‘bang!’ he hit me a whack on the head with his gun and put me out of commission for ten minutes.” “Why didn't you tell him your right name, you poor fish?” “Glad I didn’t—if he'd hit Pershing on the head that way, what would he have done to me?” comicbooks.com