Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| JUST KIDS | Not Exactly—“I wonder one thing, mamma.” . “What is it, child?” “Do the mermaids make beds with sheets of water: American. p the oyster "—Baltimore Putting Art in Artillery—Tcacher, to Current Events Class—Now, Willie, can you tell me what is the largest gun the Germans use? Witie —I —I've heard how it’s —er Teacher — Correct, Willie — Cartoons Magaz A Real Man—Little Freddy had just been put in a khaki suit with long trousers. “Mamma,” he asked, “am I a man now like papa?” I suppose so,” she replied. “Well, then,” he continued, “I guess I'll take a dime out of my bank and go down to the barber shop and get shaved.”” —Omaha News. Unusual—“ There was a sensational case of kidnapping on our block yester- day.” You don’t say so! What was it?” The baby in the third house who generally keeps everybody awake with Full Agreement 1st Sub—What do you think of our new commanding officer? and Sub—H'm! I suppose he’s all right in a way, but—er—”" ast Sub— end leave, ¢ he wouldn't give me a week- her!—London Opinion its yells slept all night.—Baltimore American. Would Pretend—Little Edna (secing mother’s new evening dress, just arrived) —Oh mamma, how lovely! Will you wear it tonight? Mother—No, dear, not tonight. This is for when ladies and gentlemen come to dinner. Edna—Oh, mamma, let’s pretend just for once that papa’s a gentleman.— Boston Transcript. Gasoline’s Understudy Mile (Paris). Hhopermr fram = Le valet de pied—Que monsieur prenne patience; une petite panne de moteur! Footman—Just a moment, sir; I’m having a bit of trouble with the motor.—Le Péle- WAR’S WAKE | Fond of Comba: quite unexpectedly.” “Yes; he read that everyone's got to work or fight.” —Boston Transcript. Loafer married Friends in Need—“A dog is man’s best friend.” “T think a lot of a dog,” commented the worried-looking man; “but the way things are going now, gimme a cow or a hen! ""—Washington Star. Crippled—* That returned soldier cer- tainly can’t go back to his trade as book- keepe “Why? His writing hand gone “No, but his pen ear is.” —Buffalo Express. Must Save Money—‘ Hobbs is always reminiscing. He seems to live in the past.” “Well, considering the advanced cost of living, I don’t blame him.”—Boston Transcript. | MERE MAN | His Dignity in Danger—A South Side man, who holds a high position in legal circles, dislikes nothing so much as doing small shopping errands with which he is sometimes charged by his wife. “Today,” his wife said to him re- cently, “I want you to stop in a five-and- ten-cent store and get me some clothes- pins and a bubble pipe for Junior.” The husband demurred. “How can you expect me to main- tain my dignity,” he said, “with such trifling things as that to bother about?” “Your dignity?” “Well,” the wife replied, “let me tell you one thing; you will never be able to impress us here at home with your dignity as long as you insist on shaving in the kitchen.”—Youngstown Telegram. Almost Like—“ Everything I have in this world I owe to my wife.” “T’'m almost like you, too. Every- thing I owe for in this world my wife bought.” —A nswers. But Now!—Mother used to give father the go-by before they were mar- ried, but ever since, she has been mak- ing it the “go buy.”—Youngstown Tele- gram. comicbooks.com