Judge — July 20, 1918 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Good Things Knew His Orders . N one of the hot days not so very long O ago a certain lake not more than 1,000 miles from the Base hospital looked particularly alluring to a young medical officer there. He divested himself of his wearing a parel and was about to dive in when a sharp command to halt stopped him. “What are your orders?” he asked rather peevishly of the soldier issuing the command who had been nearby all the time. “Sir,” came the answer, “my orders are to prevent all soldiers and civilians from bathing in this part of the lake.” “Well, why in the devil didn’t you tell me that before I stripped?” asked the officer: “Sir, L have no orders ent any man from Trenchand topre stripping.” Camp. Some [ON Si— ves: No Use “There's no use in a soldier growling—even if he does wear a‘ dog-tag’ and pitch ‘pup’ tents, avers the Binglesome ard.—The Reconnais- sance At Top of List A young man asked for exemption. The offi- cer in charge asked on what plea. time “Because I do not of Pickle believe in war. I've never fought in my life,” the young man replied. The officer said: “Then you certainly are a single man, which places you in Class 1.”— Trench and Camp. Speaking of Eyes I cannot praise the chaplain’s eyes; I never saw his glance divine; He always shuts them when he prays And when he preaches he shuts mine. —The Broadside. Respice First German Soldier—Who was the officer that kicked you in the face? Second German Soldier—That was my pro- fessor of ethics at the university.—The Naval Reserve. Gone But Not Forgotten During the fighting a highlander had the misfortune to get his head blown off. A comrade communicated the sad news to another gallant Scot, who asked, anxiously: “Where's his head? He was smoking ma pipe.”—Our Navy. It was just yesterday that Lemt belongings and will be all ready to hike back to Great Lakes with Scaman Si to enlist. s enjoying the few remaining days of his furlough—and so is Martha Milldew, the vampire Centre.—Great Lakes Bulletin. ] in Our FUN FROM THE FIGHTERS and Navy Publications Army cae Rookie Repartee A bunch of rookies coming down the street saluted a “Y" man, who said: “Bi you don’t salute ‘Y’ men. “That's all right, old man; ticing on you,” came the response.—Trench and Camp we're only prac- Referred to Bradstreet “Charge!” ordered the captain at a recent sham battle at the system of trenches west of Camp Bowie. “We'll have to look up your rating with Bradstreet,”’ said a former department store clerk.—The Reconnaissance. The Old Boy Doesn't Fall For That Stuff Soa as ~ HE WON'T Be 4816 Cestean ( Biwsece LONG WA MIME WE ite BE eed 1 Husk decided to join the Navy. Purely Formal Life on the streets of Fort Worth is just one— salute after another.—Pass in Review. Looking Backward The class in “What I Was Doing a Year Ago at This Time” will now recite.—Trench and Camp. Respect Cook Lowe—K. P., do you think you would like some of this chicken for dinner? K. P.—No! I was taught to respect old age. —The Reconnaissance. Equal to Emergency Just an old one on Gen. “Bob” Bullard, when he was a colonel: Out on the maneuvers, while the regiment was crossing a bridge, an umpire yelled to the colonel commanding: “What's the matter there, colonel, don’t you know that bridge is supposed to have been burned?” And the colonel answered, “I know it, I know it. My men are supposed to be swimming.”—Pass in Review. Habit “That new recruit must have been a book- keeper.” “What makes you think so?” “TI noticed him trying to place a bayonet behind his ear.”"—L'il Gas. Trouble for the Col. Many rookies have the notion, not surprising in the least, that the top sergeant is about the highest officer in the army. A tall country youth had just received his uniform the other day and was standing in mess line when the top kicker came along asking for the colonel. “No, Lain’t seen no colonel,” said the rookie in answer to the query. Not two minutes later the colonel in question came hurrying by ask- ing for the same top sergeant. “He's right over there in the barracks,” yelled the rookie. ‘And say, Bo, he'll give you the devil when he finds you, too."”"—Trench and Camp. Change Florence is an alchemist I know, And so I'll have to drop her, Right now he is packing his For every time I'm out with her In the mean- My silver turns to copper —The Broadside. Loafing? Captain E. R. Grant, A. R. C., in charge of civilian relief, Red Cross, tells the following: — They were having a field practice of th tary Train at Camp Carney, San Diego, Calif., and the stretcher bearers were out after the “wounded.” When the practice was at an end and the roll call was read one “soldier” was missing. They could not think of what had become of him, as he was supposed to be one of the “wounded” on the field. But finally he showed up and the following conversation took place between him and the sergeant: Where have you been? Why didn’t you come in for roll call?” “H—1, man! I've been laying in a creek for four hours with both legs shot off and none of you would pay me any attention.”—Pass in Review. Infatuation “Nevertheless, after having thought it over and all, I'd gladly give my chance at signing the next pay roll or any one or all of my stripes and my whole non-commission if I just knew her telephone number.”—Pass in Review. comicbooks.com I | ‘