Judge — July 20, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ent ad De eezes Military and Naval Jupce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received could speak English and answered: “ Twenty.” Whereupon the Irishman opened the door, and His Aim By Par ore WOR, Mansmant, Battery A. 112K PA His Uncle's Service Officer (after instructing Pat in how to fire his rifle properly)—Pat, here I gave you target No. 2 to shoot at, and you are hitting No. 9. You will have to do better than that to get “over there.” Pat Drwen by Curroxn J. Dow, U.S. Sh Slim—Hey—Y nd ruin it! Ham—G" wice alrea wrist watch wet s been “ soaked ” What He Would Do Bacwass, Co. D, 96th Ammunition Train TH »llowing incident actually occurred in the Third Officers’ Training School at Camp Meade, Md., during a class on guard duty. At Post No. 1, the sentry is to call out the guard for the commanding officer and others. The following question was asked of one of the candidates to bring out the above point: “ Mr, Blank, suppose you were on guard at Post No. 1, and the Colonel approached. What would you do?” Mr. Blank answered: “Why, sir, I would halt him.” Instructor—Yes, and then what would you do when you saw it was the Colonel? Mr. Blank—Oh, the Colonel! apologize. Why, I would Graduated Kyte, Capt, M.C.(N.G.) Sanitary Squad No. 1, Die, Camp Shelby, Miss, By Bowrs G. Guard—You've been in the brig a long time, haven't you, Shorty? Prisoner (laboring on a corduroy road) two months. Guard (philosophically) —Well, experience is a Over great teacher Prisoner—Don't I know it? That’s the reason the Prison Officer calls me “ Professor.”” He Should Worry By Parware Hannay Wreory, Dirision Headg Cam NS. Inspecting € 7—What would you do if a fire broke out an hour from now? Rookie Sentry—I get relieved in fifteen minutes, ~9 I should worry what happens an hour from now. hit the Kaiser. Well, if I aim at a private, I will likely Completely Organized By Court. Kensnaw ( Sentinel—Halt! Who's there? nant, CoH, 1eth Inf. Rookie (having just learned his place in squad) Number 4 in the rear rank. The Truth at Last Nery Journal, By Sor. Maa. C. C. Coxstvenam, Ar Fi. Monroe, Va Ser Corpora nt—Why did you call that recruit —Because he’s smaller than I 3 This Week's $5. Prize Winner Couldn't Under and It vr. Coantes J. Katrexnsen, Morkine Gant Trainiag . Center, Camp Hancork, Ga. NEWLY-DRAFTED negro who had been in } entered the orderly room for a three-day leave, His ¢ request being sufficiently good, as he left the room he “Thank y u, Ser- rst things you want to learn cir proper titles. I he negro's face. Me n, but Ah done thou youall is, a Not Guilty By Semarast Wa, A. Fuses, Coo A Officer in Charge of Range—Ser- geant Fuller, take Private Gouker off of that target. I want to shoot Private Myatt there. Private Myatt tain, I haven't done anything to be shot. The Cheerful Grin Ry Mexar S. Wannes, Co. C, Sd Br, Engineers, A. E. E An Irishman was one of a mopping-up party following an attack on a German trench. He was carrying a big bomb, and as he neared the door of a dugout he cried out: “How many of yez are in there? As it happened a German inside throwing the bomb in shouted: “Here, divide this among yez.” A Lucky Private invenstets, Co. E, ith Inf y on tour of &-8-g-Reneral By Senor. 8. Captain Jones (officer of the inspection)—What are y-y-your orders? ‘0 answer from sentry. iain Jones—D-d-d-do y-y-you hear m-m- me, what are your g-g-general orders? Still no answer from sentry. Captain Jones—W-w-what is y-y-your name? We'll see why you cannot answer when you are spoken to. Priv »-p-p-private S-s-s-Smith, The captain then went to the guardhouse n-n- S-s-sir. Captain—D-d-does — P-p-private — S-s-Smith s-s-stutter? Sergeant—Yes, sir. Captain—W-w-w-well it’s a g-g-good thing he d-d-does. Dependents rt, Supply Seryeant, Mdgrs. Co. 5 TT ee Wy Sion, BE icer—Any dependents? Lazarus Cole—No, sah! Recruiting Officer—How is that? You told me a minute ago that your wife and mother lived with you, and now you say you have no dependents! Lazarus Cole—Dat's awright, Cap'n. Dey ain’ no dependen’s. Ah’s dat. Ah ain’ wuked foh de las five yeahs. Those Wrist Identification Tags 7.8.8. Merey, U iz, I wish’t I had that tag! comicbooks.com