Judge — July 6, 1918 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HEADACHE TABLETS 27 YEARS THE ENEMY OF PAIN kr Headaches, Neuralgias, LaGrippe ..Colds Women's Aches anallls, Rheumatic 229 Sciatic Pains Stk Tour Drggist For AX Tablets The Landon School % {vevatne The Landon School cartaning News Which Has Not Happened N. B.—It must be distinctly understood that the news given below is not authentic, and the editor disclaims all responsibility for anything which may chance to appear in the following paragraphs. During the hot summer months the salute will be rendered by a casual nod or a friendly wave of the hand, as it is deemed advisable to guard the men of this camp from the effects of over exertion Gray duck uniforms are to be worn in the as it has been found that white soils too easily and makes much unnecessary washing for the men. Sailors at the station are cautioned, under penalty of being placed on report, not to pick the beautiful flowers growing on the parade ground.—The Broadside. On Duty Elsewhere An Irish soldier had just lost an eye in battle, but was allowed to continue in the ser- vice on consenting to have a glass eye in its place, says an English paper. One day, how- ever, he appeared on parade without his arti- ficial eye. “Nolan,” said the officer, “you are not properly dressed. Why is your artificial eye not in its place?” “Sure, sir,” replied Nolan, “TI left it in me box to keep an eye on me kit while I’m on parade.” —Trench and Camp (oe oeescarmermreaer “2 DARPESAR SST AST es AO =a /FUN FROM THE FIGHTERS | Good Things in Our Army and Navy Publications ELC 4 The Barracks Wheeze By Cnet Snarer When You See When you see one come in with large spec- tacles and a brow that sets back off his face like a rural church at a crossroads—who can parse puyallup in six counts—who has hunted sub trahends for six successive seasons—who owns cight diplomas, framed—who possesses six scholarship medals—and can recite much from Hyperion and King Brady without looking you can make up your mind that the top-cutter is in line for another very efficient addition to his fatigue squad. No Hardship “Foh de life 0’ me,” said Uncle Eben, “1 can’t see no hardship in food regulations dat put it up to folks to eat mostly corn bread an’ chicken.” About Time It’s about time now for the I. W .W.’s to come out and say whether the letters stand for “I'm With Wilhelm,” or “I'll Whip Wilhelm. One Fit They were lined up for inspection, an array of wondrous misfit uniforms. The embroi- dered hat-strap prize seemed already won by a tall Hibernian. His tunic bulged at the neck. his breeches had the hang of a poncho and his leggins were meant for the near-dwarf next him. “Well,” said the officer, giving him one look, “doesn’t anything fit you?” “Yis, sor!” in a timid voice. “What is it?” shouted the Lieutenant in- credulously. “Me toot’-brush!” A Lot of ‘Em There are a lot of somebodies inthe army, but the distinction is doing them no good. After the Hike After a four-day hike, Ralph looked at his battered shoes and remarked “It won't be long before I'll be getting back on my fect again.” —Trench and Camp. ARERR ts > Chips from Ships By Heinae Postponed Gob—When will you marry me? Yeomanette—See that plant over there? It has a little bud on it. When that blooms I'll marry you.” Gob—Finc, what kind of a plant is it? Yeomanette—It’s a century plant; it blooms every hundred years Gob—By that time I expect to make chie/ and I wouldn't marry a second class yeomar ette then A Swap Proposed \ former shipmate writes from Honolulu “Can you do anything toward tipping me off to somebody on duty in the Channel who would like to swap with me here? I have a perfectly safe and sane job here in Honolulu.” Too bad Dinny. You couldn't sell your job now. Of course it’s different in time of peace. The Honolulu jobs are all the candy then. Nice place and everything. Dusky maidens wearing nothing but the close of day. Out under the ukelele trees watching the wickiwicky birds flit from bough to bough. But Kaiser Bill ruined all that In Flanders \ former Marine shipmate writes us from ‘over there” to tell us about the mud in I was walking along the road,” he writes, “and happened to see a soldier's hat lying there. I kicked the hat and discovered there was a head under it and a live man under the head. So I pulled the man out. He then informed me that he was on horseback so both of us dug down in the mud and pulled the horse out. The horse was good and hungry by that time so we dug down further and hauled up a ating.” That’sa y sounding story, but then you know how the Marines always could bat ’em out.—Our Navy. Flanders. At the Bottom of It The basis for inspection is suspicion.— Trench and Camp “A TRENCH SPADE” LEAD! Trump It with a Quarter and Take It Send twenty-five cents, cash or stamps, and we will mail to you, postage paid, a copy of this clever and timely picture Just another one of Norman Rockwell’s popular JUDGE covers reproduced in full colors and mounted ona heavy 11x 14, all ready for the frame. An attractive decoration for the camp, den or home. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT atrencn space 225 FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK CITY comicbooks.com