Judge — June 29, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Constantly on the Alert } By PuvaTe Haroun Hassrneer, U. 8. Marine Corps } “THE ALERT” was atug that plied the waters ? around the bay at the Mare Island Navy Yard and had put into dry-dock for repairs. That was all right as far as everyone was con- cerned except one sentry, Ole Olsen. 4 It was night and the Officer of the Day had * gone out to visit sentries. He came to the dry- dock caisson where Ole was supposed to be + walking post. The post extended along and the width of only the caisson. No Ole was to be seen. * The officer hunted, but his hunt was in vain. » Fuming he came to the guard-house and called for the sergeant of the guard, ard together they went to hunt Ole. Again no Ole was in sight. + Quite by chance they observed a lone man sil- 4 houetted against the sky on the deck of the tug in dry-dock. “Perhaps he may know about the sentry,” suggested the Officer of the Day, and the } two made their way across the gangplank to the boat. Lo, and behold it was Ole. “Sentry,” began the Officer of the Day, “don’t you know you have committed a serious offense in leaving your post? Don’t you know you are liable to be shot? What are your general orders?” 1y general orders bane be,” began Ole, “to tak charge of this post and all government prop- erty in view. To walk my post in a military man- ner, keeping always on the alert—and, Ay bane de on the alert!" H'm, H'm! By Puivate P. A. Dowatn, With Canadian Forces, { The morning inspection was taking place and ‘the officer found Private Smart’s face more like an oat stubble than what a private’s face should “Ha, Hal No shave this morning,” was the -officer’s comment. “He, He! No razor,” was the quick reply. “Ho, Ho! Ten days’ detention.” He Didn't Know By Senceaxt Wat, A. Puack, Co. A, 113th Engineers. Captain (to recruit who had been firing at a target and had missed every shot)—What’s the matter with your shots? Recruit—I don’t know, sir. They were all right when they left here. The Strategist By Purvare P. A. Dowatp, With Canadian Forces, A sentry was put on duty and among the many -orders that were given him one was to let no- body take his rifle from him. One of his officers decided to try him out that night, so asked him to give up his rifle. The sentry, to the officer’s -astonishment, complied with his request. a “Now, what are you going to do to defend | yourself?” stormed the officer. “Just as much as you,” replied the sentry. ““There’s no firing pin in that rifle.” eezes Military and Naval | ‘Jupce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted 4 for publication, and cach week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received Certainly Not et Drawn by Liner. Jar V. Ravcuurre, Jjsth Inf, Camp Pike, Ark. _ Officer—Hm-m! Are you in the habit of smok- ing cigars on guard? Recruit—Oh, no, sit! TL usually smoke my pipe! This Week's $5 Prize Winner Evidently He Belonged” in the Rear Rank By Sexceant R. Ror, Co. E., 48th Infantry OWN in one of the Southern cantonments a colored drill sergeant was explaining the movement of “Squad Right,” and proceeded to put the movement into effect. One lanky member of the rear-rank became detached from his squad. The in- structor asked the lost member where he belonged. Not getting an answer, the question was repeated, and brought this reply: “Well, sah, Mistah Sahgent, Ah don't ’zactly koto, but when this thing started Ah was in the "hind row.” The Dear Dead Long Ago = ert Barracks 527, Camp Drawn by H. Knoexenr, Q. M. nston Keo. Officer—As you were! George—Yes, and I done wish I was as I were. f Had It in Stock By “Someone at Schofeld Barracks” Here’s an actual one I heard the other day on an old, wise Sergeant, who is supposed to be much above us “Johns” you know. The t. was having sighting and aiming drill, when the Major strayed in to give us the once over. “Sergeant,” he asked, “have these men had the nomenclature of the rifle yet?” “No, sir,” replied the Sergeant, “we haven't any here, but I think we have some in the supply room, sir.” Nothing To It Mexny, Barracks No. 5, Aviation Fidd Garden City, Long Island A newly appointed corporal was detailed to bring some men over to tke infirmary for minor medical treatment. According to regulation, their names were duly entered in the sick-call book and they were marched to the hospital. When the sick-call book was given back to the corporal by the medical authorities, a small “th. m.”’ had been placed alongside of some of the names. One of the men, who was inclined to be curious, questioned the corporal as to the meaning of the “th, m.”” “You've got me, buddy,” he replied, “’cept that it means those birds have the hoof and mouth disease.” Tt meant ‘“‘have medication.” By Puvare Gron Cheerfully Suggestive By Jack Tawen, I. A. 1, Naval Hospital, Annapolis, Md One evening, upon returning from liberty, some of the men were halted by a negro on watch, who challenged: “Halt! Who goes there?” “Liberty party returning.” “Well, den, advance and be pulverized.” **No, Saht"" By Sexceaxt Mason C. R. Snowoex, 11th Battalion, F. A. RD In Newport News, Va., is located the Curtiss Aviation Field. One day while some of the bird- men were exhibiting their skill and daredevilty in flying, of course all eyes were turned skyward. One of the colored citizens went into one of the stores and was talking to the clerk about it. The clerk asked him how he would like to be in the aviator’s place, when the darky replied: “No, sah! Not me. If the Good Lawd had wanted to make me a buzzard he’d gimme wings in de fust place!” At Ground School By Senoraxt Guten, 4.8.8. C. Student pilot—Are you an adjutant? Student adjutant—Yeah, why? Student pilot—Report at the Quartermaster’s at 3:00 o'clock to have your ears measured for pencils and quills. a have it Part those 1 those t Part —thos nothin, that p and ke Som for wee not kt trimme its own Ind no par official: ents, a with dence. Publ tions, ¢ set. Am long as interes! serve C an ope! Her want \ we war Refo increas ties. R by me “somet and th enforce THE am quet cr Banner second Com: bluenes eyes. Iris that gi comicbooks,co,