Judge, 1918-06-29 · page 15 of 37
Judge — June 29, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon** (by Florence Scovel Shinn): A woman knits socks for Scottish Highlanders, joking they "aren't half dressed." This satirizes the common stereotype that Scottish men wear kilts (which expose their legs), presenting the knitwear as charity work for the allegedly underdressed Scots. **"The All-Day Visit"** (by Tom P. Morgan): This story mocks rural/country visiting customs versus urban formality. It portrays "Mizzus Waddles," a heavy woman who makes exhausting all-day visits, bringing her children and gossip, complaining incessantly about her ailments, spreading rumors about neighbors, and generally making her hosts miserable. The satire contrasts country hospitality's genuine warmth with its burdensome social obligations—city people's aloofness, while cold, at least protects one from such invasive visits. **Bottom items**: Small jokes about a man being "one-story" (dull speaker) and a child asking what sausage used to be—darkly humorous given meat processing realities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a Drawn by Frorence Scover Sunn “What are those queer looking things you are knitting, Miss Prune?” . “Oh I'm making socks for the Scottish Highlanders. ‘The poor things aren’t half dressed! entertainer. The visiting microbes, although dead, get around some. And before they are distributed through the system for future reference incase of ty- phoid fever, they cause the first real pain of canton- ment life. There is a swelling, to accommodate the increased patronage, aches of all kinds and a stiffness of arm and shoulder that reduces the estimation of in- door sports to the lowest common multiple. Three of these shots are placed before the soldier gets his im- munization papers. With these, and the knowledge that all is over, he doesn’t feel so hard toward Hippo- crates. But when he is standing, stripped to the waist, fifty deep in the long line passing the medical officers and their needles, he wonders just why it was necessary for the Greek to break away from the form-sheet of his progenitors and give the world a new idea. Tremblingly, the private soldier in the National Army wishes fer- vently that the ancient theory, which put the ictus against the dudes of Mt. Olympus, was still in vogue. The All-Day Visit By Tos P. Morcan “TOWN folks miss a good deal by not indulging in the all-day visit which prevails in the friendly country,” said the Missourian. “City people don’t rub up against their neighbors, but merely flick ’em as they pass by. They are too thoroughly starched with their own importance to be able to unbend and enter the other feller’s joys and sorrows. “But in the old home town or the friendly country, Mizzus Waddles, although she weighs mighty nigh three hundred pounds, thinks nothing of coming over early in the forenoon, bringing her work, all the bad news of the neighborhood, her asthma, and her five greasy children, and staying all day. She talks until it is a mercy that she doesn’t wheeze herself to death, pausing only for food and drink at the usual times or to declare, when little Johnberry or St. Elmo upsets the center table, breaks a window or sets the house on fire, that the child takes after his father. “She sighs over the de- parted, and hopes they haven’t gone where she is afraid they have. She tells the ailing that she knew a similar case that became reduced to skin and bones, and_ presently expired in awful agony. She wrecks the reputations of all her absent acquaintances. And when she finally wheezes herself away, followed by her ‘tribe, there is nothing for you to do but wonder why there is no insurance against the rav- ages of the all-day visit.” A Human Bungalow “That’s the fourth time I’ve heard DeBore tell that same story.” “Yep, he’s a one-story man. That's why he stands no higher as a speaker.” Drawn by Jutta Daniers “Papa, if beef is made out of cow, and pork used to be pig, what was sausage Once?”