Judge — June 22, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Seeing It Through Les Le Mécotier—Misére de misére! fumeurs sont jusqu’auboutistes. Curator of Cigar Bustr—Confound itt Nowadays all the smokers are adopting the “To the very end” policy.—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). ——_——— YOUNGSTERS |} Earning the Nickel—Little Ethel— Mr. Young, my sister Laura said at the table this morning that she thought you had the prettiest mustache she ever saw. Mr. Young—You oughtn’t to tell things you hear at table, Ethel. Ethel—But she’s going to give me a nickel for telling you!—Stray Stories. Sounded Like That—The nurse in a a well-to-do family overheard the little son of the house telling his sister how he had hid behind the portiere and spied on big sister and her beau. “Oh, tell me what they did,” cried little sister. “Tt was such fun,” chuckled the boy. “The big chump flopped down on his knees and then he said: ‘Answer me, Clara, I can bear this expense no longer.’” —Boston Transcript. The Helpful Expletive—Speaking of children, or the wileless side of humanity, here is a little story. A tiny boy between two and three years old, the son of a Navy commander, who adores his father and who unconsciously—or consciously— takes him for his model, in getting into the family motor the other day in some way hurt his hand. He didn’t whimper very much, but his little face was taut with pain. His mother said sympathet- ically: “Never mind, sonny, never mind; does it hurt very, very much?” “Oo know damn well it hurts!” said the baby. The mother omitted any chiding or lesson in the choice of words to express one’s self, for fear of giving too much im- portance to the word he had happened to apply as an adjunct to pain, or else of inadvertently convincing the child that a father—unlike kings—can do or can use words that are wrong.—Town Topics. THE CLOTH She Didn't Mean It—A clergyman was showing an old lady the beauties of his church. “That,” he explained, ‘is a memorial tablet erected to the memory of the late vicar.” “There now! Ain’t it beautiful!” exclaimed the admiring old lady, anxious to please. “And I’m sure I ’ope it won’t be long afore we sce one erected to you on other side!" —London Tit-Bits. Firm in the Faith—A colored minis- ter of the Baptist Church, so runs the story, in order to strengthen and confirm the faith of his congregation, took as his text: “In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judea.” “Oh,” said he, ‘how I like to read these precious words in the blessed Bible! You don’t read anywhere about John the Presbyterian, or John the Methodist, or John the Episcopalian. No, brethren, it is John the Baptist.”— The Argonaut. Pithecanthropus Erectus—From the Notice Board at Greyfriars Church, Reading (England)—‘‘ Subject—The Mis- sing Link. The Vicar.” Our rever- end friend has too long hidden himself from a puzzled world.—John Bull (Lon- don). Lost—The pastor had waxed eloquent from the pulpit in describing a ship in distress. Then: ‘‘What are you going to do?” he cried. “Nay,” retorted an old sailor in the congregation, “‘you’ve got her in such a tarnation mess that I’m not sure it’s worth doin’ anything!"—London Tit- Bits. Hallucinations of the Hungry Hun WAT i The way the famished boche pictured the Ukraine picnic.—Simplicissimus (Munich).