Judge, 1918-06-15 · page 5 of 36
Judge — June 15, 1918 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine piece satirizes Columbus's 1492 voyage through a dialogue between Columbus and Pinzon (likely Martín Alonso Pinzón, captain of the *Pinta*). The humor centers on anachronistic complaints: Columbus grumbles about cold weather and seasickness while Pinzon boasts about newfound wealth and titles. The central illustration shows a ship's hold filled with goods, captioned "Just a Load of Junk That Has Gone Out of Style About 1430." The satire mocks how Columbus's voyage—celebrated as a grand historical achievement—was actually driven by mundane commercial motives and personal gain rather than noble discovery. The contemporary (1918) audience would recognize this as deflating romanticism about historical "great men" through comic realism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| | Volume 74 Founded 1881 Number 1913 “THE HAPPY eMEDIUM” $5.00 a Year New York, June 15, 1918 Published Weekly CENE: On board the Santa Maria. Morning of October 12, 1492. Martin Pinzon has come from the Pinta to talk things over. Christopher Columbus comes on deck. Pinzon: Morning to you, Old Man! What’s the good word? You see we've struck land all right! Cotumsus: Ah-ker-choo! Ah-ker-choo! Oh, go *way and don’t bother me! I woke up this morning with such a beastly cold that I wish I’d never left Palcs. This is a dog’s climate! Sorry, Martin, but you know how it is: When a fellow has a cold in the head he just doesn’t give a hang about anything! Pinzon: That’s true, too. Now, I knocked out the last cold I had with a little mix- ture my brother Vincente gave me Cotumsus: I don’t want any dope. All I want is just to go off somewhere and take a snooze in the sun. Pinzon: But think! This day has made your name im- mortal! You have found a new way to India, and Cotumpus: But that doesn’t help me to breathe through my nose, and that’s all I want right now. India be darned! Pinzon: Come, Chris, don’t get a grouch on! Why, as soon as you get home you will be rolling in wealth. Ferdinand and Isabella will load us with honors: Cotumsus: More likely History As She Happens What Really Occurred When Columbus Discovered America By Tupor Jenks Illustrations by Gorpvon Ross “Just a Loav or Juxx Twat Hav Goxe Our or StyLe Avout 1450” they will put me in jail! Think I don’t know ’em? Better keep your doublet on, Martin! Pinzon: But Isabella pawned her jewels to Cotumpus: Jewels? Say, did you see them? Just a load of junk that had gone out of style about 1450! You ought to have heard what the poor old pawnbroker said when I gave him the royal order. He went broke, I hear. Pixzon: Oh, cheer up! Take a brace. It will be good to get ashore again, anyway. Come on. You'll feel a lot better when we land. Cotumpus: But 1 haven’t had breakfast yet. What’s the great rush? That little island isn’t going to run away. Besides all the crew are just looney to land; and after the fuss they made on the trip I’ve a blamed good mind to keep the beggars on board for a day or two. It'll serve those lubbers right! Pinzon: See here, Chris, you’re the boss, of course. But if I were you, I think I’d let by- gones be bygones. After all, the boys are not so bad! Cotumpus: They just about went the limit, and you know it. Do you think I don’t know? Calling me a “crazy old crank” and all that. And now who’s right? Pinzon: M Oh, come now! What else can it be? Pinz..x: How do I know? I don’t live here. But what comicbooks.com