Judge — June 15, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tent and Deck Wheezes Military and Naval Jupce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received The Rookie's Awakening (With apologies to Wale Mason) By Bow Baren, Quartermaster It Aviation AMARTYR'S air I bore the day I left the folks at home, and jumped into the bloody fray across the briny foam. Of course, I didn’t go across the day I joined, you know; but then, I made the folks all think that soon I’d surely go. # And then I landed in this camp and ate four pounds of chow, met lots of jolly boys and then wrote home and told them how; “The eats are punk, the treatment worse, I’m getting thin, I Sandbagging the Kaiser Drawn by Tex O'Rourke How training is made a pleasure for the boys. judge. I’m lonesome, home-sick, blue as blue. Please send a box of fudge.” You see, I wanted sympathy (and candy, too, of course). At least I made myself believe: “They treat me like a horse.” Until, one day, I got a punch—one cent was all it cost. I stepped upon a corner scale to see how much I'd Lost. Dark thoughts ran through my brain. I saw in my imagination, myself a victim of despair, home-sickness and starvation—I waited breath- | lessly to see the hand stop on its rounds. And then! Oh, what a shock!! I saw I'd gained just fourteen pounds. His Worry By Senor. D. S. SuackeLroap, 357th Infantry “Now, Rastus,” said the Captain, “don’t you want to make your will before you go over?” “* Will’ nuthin’, sah! De only will I’se worry- in’ about is wild I come back!” A Sad Parting Drawn by C.J. Dow, U.S. N. Sarcastic Barber—(after running his clippers deliberately through the middle of the poor Rookie’s beautiful locks) How will you have it cut, sir? This Week's $5 Prize Winner Hence the Beard By Carr, Peter J. Curro, 260th Service Squadron, Wilbur Wright Field, Fairfeld, Ohio [rei at Saterday morning inspection. The Commanding Officer spotted @ private whose unshacen frontispiece was hairy blue with neglect. “Why didn't you shave this morning?” demanded the C. 0. The private became extremely neroous and his hand shot up to his chin, “You see, sir,” he stammered, “there were cight of us shaving by the aid of a single mirror and I guess 1 must have shaved somebody else.” Her Defense Drawn by H. Keoennnt, A. Mf. C., 27, Camp Funiton, Kan, Sammie—And last week you were gadding about with Bill Green, I hear? Girl—But you had no furlough then! The Sagacious Gull By Cuter Watex Texpen Hane L. Beoent, U.S. S, Agamemnos One day a Chief Petty Officer on one of our battleships, thinking he would have a little fun, told a lad who had just come aboard ship to go get him a bottle of vacuum. When the recruit started off everyone who had heard what he was sent for laughed and remarked how “easy” new men were. Just about that time the “boot” returned and handed the Chief an incandescent lamp. Once more everyone laughed—except the Chief. His Loyalty Dracn oy Tex O'Rourke “You nearly killed the new instructor, Pat.” “Sure, i American man annihilator.” Definitions By Wasa R. Mansnate, Battery A, 112th HF. A Mule Skinners—Drivers on supply wagons. Pebbles—Tapioca pudding. Some Bird By Liccresast B. B. Serstocn, 324m Inyantry Officer of the Guard (to Sentinel No. 1)—Would you know the commanding officer if you were to see him? “Yes, sir,” replied the rookie, “He’s the man what wears the chickens en his shoulder. Liberal Minded By Prt. R. R. Dottanmipr, 158th Casual Company A colored rookie was asked to what organiza- tion he belonged. “Ah don’t belong to no reglah church, boss. I jes goes to the Y. M. C. A.” neve! girl sign some anyt with comicbooks.com